
notacunt wrote:The Haven Herald
11 September 2010 Last updated at 17:09 CEST
Goon Cities rocked by Terror Attacks
Early this morning wagons crashed into 2 separate goon cities, destroying many buildings and killing potentially dozens of goons.
Witnesses describe the approach of the first wagon to Xanadu; "At first it didn't seem out of the ordinary, we occasionally have wagons come to our city."
A seemingly normal morning soon turned nightmarish when the wagon collided directly with the city's brick wall and detonated, breaching the wall and destroying many building and damaging many others.
Around the same time a similar attack occurred at Nunya, also beaching the wall and causing substantial damage. In both cities several buildings caught fire and and burned in the following panic.
"An explosion of this magnitude has never happened before in the Hearth," said military analyst Onionfighter. "The wagons must have been full of barrels of beer, certainly of a high quality."
No culprits have yet been named but various sources within the goon hierarchy have pointed the finger at Russian organizations.
"Russians are the only ones with the beer of the required quality" one official remarked "They want to compensate for not having vodka."
In the aftermath of the attacks the goon trading post suspended operations and was put on hiatus. Officials have yet to make a formal statement regarding the attacks.
loftar wrote:You do appear to need a good trolling.
Ezekiel wrote: He called me what I believe to be an "ass fetus" in Russian and then killed me.
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