Fortress wrote:"Dear Mr./Mrs. Boartusk"
Howdy there purty lil girl! I done been minning in your purty lil cave and I was done seein if I could mine round them walls but apparently you got that village locked up as tight as a purty little girl next door. The reason I been temptin to mine in your cute little village be due to this here fact. I have found murder scents leading to you and I been wantin revenge! You aint just gonna get away with no pillagin of our ladies and cupboards, that aint acceptable.
If you done get the balls to come out of your pansy hidey hole I done be at our fair encampment at the island in 42, 57. We done call it chilipepper island due to its chilipepper shape and nature. Yall get some balls and get out here, put up or shut up. You like them city folks that raise them 2 wheel drive trucks to make up for your lack in other areas. Damn city slickers.
Excuse me? Maybe some information on where you got the scents would help, we don't go around killing innocent people.
Also, you should go to a doctor and get that southern accent checked out.