I'd very much like to join yall if you'll have me

And to prove I'm not some lunatic that will murder everyone, here's a short story i made up just now, for your reading pleasure.
Once upon a time, in a town called Hingledorf, there lived two little siblings named Martin and Marta. Everyone in the town loved them, except for a old miser by the name of Mr. Grumplepuff. He hated children, and for whatever reason (some say his heart was three sizes too small or some shit), he especially hated Martin and Marta. So one day, he devised a plan: kidnap the two kids and hide them away in his shack up in the woods where nobody could find them. Unsure of how to proceed with his nefarious scheme without getting caught, he waited until the next full moon to abduct the children. A fortnight passed, and he was ready to spring into action and hastily hurried to the youngster's abode. Meanwhile, the two kids were inside their house playing Primal Rage on their 32x. "This game sucks" said Martin as he yanked the game out of the Genesis-parasite and threw it across the room. Marta, partially agreeing with him and wanting to diffuse the tension, suggested they play some Pier Solar instead, since their father had just purchased it and it was still unopened. But unfortunately for our intrepid protagonists, Mr. Grumplepuff had already snuck into their room and immediately threw them both in a rather large burlap sack and started running for his cabin in the woods. Once he arrived, he threw the kids in the cellar and locked them in. Then not a moment later, a unicorn came and impaled him in the chest, instantly killing him. Sadly, nobody found the kids and they perished due to starvation in the cellar (well, Marta did after she killed and ate Martin due to being hungry). And none of them were ever heard from again. The end.
What's the moral of the story you might ask? Don't play 32x games or you'll be kidnapped and forced to cannibalize someone. Stick with Nintendo games kids.
I look forward to hearing from ya.
