Well, serfing through forum you will not get the truthful image of actual community mood.
In any time 30-40% of these players who are online are noobies like you and will always try to help you and support. Same as majority of older players. Yeah there always will be % of people who are enjoying agressive and toxic behaviour to new players, but oh well, it is their way of seeing point of this game. I don't support it (I'd even say it's cringe). But until game will keep treating pvp and old experienced players like someone who always must be taken from in favor of imaginary newbies issues - they will extinct to the end without coming back to game at all. So in this ecology there just no equal enemies for noobkillers to get busy with instead of noobkilling and griefing 24/7. And lets be honest it's not some Sims, and not some social experiment how some people like to imagine, its about wild and very old times of barbarians and civilizatin craddle.
My personal advice - treat Haven as an extremely detailed and difficult survival game it is, where eat or be eaten. Death - is a new beginning and a lesson
Characters are dying here all the time and the best you can do is to take care of security measures for your base. Here is a great post about it https://www.havenandhearth.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=42&t=72166
Don't trust random people, they can be conning you, never give up your location anywhere. And when you get killed, take a deep sigh and follow instructions about restoring some stats by ancestral shrine. You can try to use this discord https://discord.gg/fNjqFXBfWq for asking questions about the game and trading, because all the other channels are either dead or not new-players friendly or both.