Achievement Unlocked

[meabeab]

If H&H was some kind of late 2000s indie game with a hidden list of fun achievements, what could they be?

Pool Noodler
Catch a catfish in a tidepool

Six-pack
Fill your cart full with barrels of beer

Primeval Reflexes
Put a loaded tanning tub into a cart. Ask yourself why

Trebouchet Roulette
Shoot yourself with a catapult, twice or it's luck

Family Heirloom
Open a pickling jar that is older than you(r character)

Moral Kompass
Drop a sword next to a rat in your cellar to see if it's evil

Dr. Robotnik
Finally, destroy that pesky hedgehog with your machinery

The third little piggy
Let your piglet hunt down a wolf

Malleus Moleficarum
Smite an abysmal abomination as it emerges! (Whack a mole while holding a sledgehammer)

Mythbusters
Kill a questgiver

Coop Mode
Shove a second rooster into a chicken hut

Kin Man
Pick a fight with an enormous poultry in your own village

Out of Red Potions
Get KO'ed by a slime

Stranger Danger
Get KO'ed by your fellow hearthling

Sonic the Hedgehog
Get your rings stolen while KO'ed

...and a laaarch soda
Have a sealburger with turnip fries

Wallhack
Tear down brickwall with an axe

Haunted Mansion
Escape from Nidbane by the stairs

S.T.R.I.D.E.R. 2: Heart of the Woods
Sit down next to a lit fireplace, have some sausage rolls or play a lute. Just watch out for boars

Leather Sights
Produce Arrow-Shattered Arrow. Cutting-edge accuracy

Cockblock
Drop a rooster during a combat

Rooster Booster
Chase a cock during a combat

「Sling Lynx」
Sling Lynx (Sling Lynx)

Aurora Borealis
Watch your Laurel-Crowned Roast burn into ashes

Touch a cow
Do it now. Milk an aurochs

Harder
Pull aurochs hair

Coworking
Collect at once a mighty herd of half a dozen aurochsen

Perfect Circle
Discover the Ring of Brodgar. Haha, not the seafood. No, not this... Huh, maybe another one... Have you tried that fishy thing?

ded gaem
Open your kin list (25+ contacts long) while everyone is offline

???
Discover the secret of treants

"... in their trees..."
Witness the God of Forest

[GreenScape]

Achievements in H&H?

Someone, give him a medal! That is truly a Guinness Record level of optimism.

[meabeab]

optimism

Not really. Just a dump of puns, some Q10 fan art (or f-art for short).

Boring grind achievements "Kill 100 Foxes" were mentioned a dozen times before.
Clever and originally H&H-esque ones too, like

'Bear Arms' which is earned by killing a bear completely unarmed and without the assistance of other players

Would be fun to see more player ideas regarding that type of achievements

[GreenScape]

I mean, the HnH is on life support as it is. Any sort of achievements is definitely faaar beyond their radar coverage. Let's cross fingers for a next update till the end of the year (any year).

[meabeab]

truly a Guinness Record level of optimism

Let's cross fingers for a next update

Sure, let's wait

[meabeab]

Shitpost pt. 2

Cheevos Unlocked
Discover Chives

12 Gauge Slag
Craft a Stone Arrow from a Slag

Buckshot
Take down a Red Deer with a single "Shoot!"

Urban Survivalist
Toss a brick at a rat

Hidden Stress
Allow your drinking glass to deteriorate completely

Yatzy
Yahtzee!!

Ocean Plastic
Fish out someone's trash

Sunken Vessels
Fish out someone's drinkable liquid container. It keeps happening

I'm Calling Cops
Fish out someone's skull

Reap What You Sow
In an agricultural sense, not in... uh... the metaphorical

Mr. Plow
Reach a ludicrous speed of 4 tiles per second with your plow

Do You Want To Build A Snowman?
Craft a pair of snowballs

I Know Kung Fu
Put a Combat Instruction into your Study Report

Pholid Thnake
Hit an adder with the "Knock Its Teeth Out" move

Sooth-a-Moose
Try the Diplomacy for once

Lucky Punk
Start 6 fires with a single branch

Ungrateful Swine
Get attacked by a beast you are trying to clover

Skill Issue
Cap a crafting product quality with your Attributes and Abilities

High Ground
Hit your target on the other side of a ridge

Dude, Where's My Cart?
Lose sight of your cart after it gets blocked

Out Of Battery
Push a piece of siege equipment until it requires maintenance

Tagging The Turf
Leave a crime scent by applying wallpaper

[animary]

Zombie achievement - killed and regenerated five times

[meabeab]

Pt. 3

Catcall
Summon a pet

Play Dead
Get mauled by a bear

Revenant
Get mauled by a bear, but survive

Fire In A Hole
Make a lasting winter fishing spot with an underwater brazier

Choking Hazard
Sprint and drink

Grave Mistake
Dig up a hearthling skull. Alas, poor Yorick!

Reckless Driving
Hit 7 tiles per second with "A Glass Too Much" buff active

A Close Shave
Nearly cull your ram with shears

Bucket Akimbo
Your capacity to dual-wield

Buckaroo
Fall down from a pony

Cutie marks
Get bitten by a pony

It sucks
Die to a leech

Little Pricks
Die to midges

Good Night, Sweet Prince
Die in your sleep

Animal Cruelty
Open a rabbit hutch with no cells empty

Dry Run
Travel 999 tiles on foot without taking a single sip

Fireworks
Drop an inventory full of irrlights

Geothermal
Build a windmill inside a cave

How's Your Leg?
Slaughter a wounded horse

Meh, Not A Bug
Catch a snail

S. A. M.
Shoot down a kritter mid-flight

[meabeab]

Pt. 3½

Not Sorry
Put some Birch Sap on your pancakes

There Is Something In My Hair!
Aggro a bat. Start panicking

Shelf Life
Use Spirited Mandrake Root that is about to expire

Ground Beef
Get a piece of Raw Meat from Land Survey. See if the three-second rule still applies

Early Bird
Get the curio from butchering poultry

Medivac
Let a downed magpie get picked up by another one

Banhammer
Get KO'ed while typing in chat

EZ GG WP
End combat with less than 25% SHP left

Fishballs
End combat against a Cave Angler with a "Kick"

Orthodoxal Views
Stay loyal to :cam ortho and default game client

Stonks
Spend 100 coins on a single purchase at a barter stand

crystal castles
Build a house of sparkling glass

Inventory Manager
Stand still for 20 in-game minutes, going through containers content

Government Surveillance Drone
Equip a dove with Troll Eye

It's Free Real Estate
Enter a really spacious burrow (>40 tiles²)

[meabeab]

Pt. 3¾

 
Sleep Paralysis 
Get stuck on your bed at login
Scuba Dove 
Pack your pigeon into a gift box and lob it into the sea. Don't forget breathing holes!
Pen Pals 
Get stuck for a whole hour in an overcrowded cattle corral
Two Birds With One Stone 
Some ammo is reusable, you know?
Hibernation 
Log out during in-game Autumn only to log in at Spring
Man-in-the-Middle 
Intercept a flying domestic dove...
NO CARRIER 
...and wring its neck
Deep Sleprivation 
Stay online for 3 in-game days
Umamusuma or Something IDK 
Inspect a stray horse with the average of stats higher than your own
Any% Speedrun 
Die in your first 24 in-game hours
Forever Beta   
Crash the game client
Alpha Tester   
Crash the game server
Urn-Based Strategy 
Open 10+ containers at once
Bounding Box Integrity 
Open 100+ containers at once
Rocky Mistake 
Waste your only Rock Crystal on a stupid building
Hat Trick 
Convince a fellow hearthling to transfer you another store hat for the third time
Stonks 2: Robin Hat 
Acquire $100 worth of hats
Yep, it's wood 
Inspect a log
Peas Drawer 
Pack a cupboard full of peas
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! 
Close a 50%+ Combat Opening
Task Manager 
Gather up 7 active quests with the same task
Pickle Sickle 360 
Harvest 10 trellises in one sweep
Good Ending 
Leave the game for good