Seven for the Troll Worshippers in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Hermits doomed to die,
One for the Shadow Lord on his throne
In the Land of Oddgod where a Darkness lies.
One Kiln to rule them all, One Kiln to find them,
One Kiln to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Oddgod where the Shadows lie."
The kilns of power were created under the master hands of Giygas the great, fourth of his name, longest of his dong. These creations were to bring power to each kingdom, and with them peace. But not all was as planned. A total of nineteen kilns of power were created, and Zox took sixteen of such kilns, thanks to Oddity. In an attempt to take over Shadow-earth, he secretly forged the One Kiln in the fires of the Hearth. The One Kiln would bring all the other kilns and their owners under his power, however the man-children of Giygas were aware of him and hid their kilns. Zox declared open war and demanded the kilns, but the man-children of Giygas, were able to hide the greatest three.
It is a curious story of the One Kiln, and how it landed in the grasp of Willy Swaggins. However, it is not a tale for mortal men. Algyturtle, with white mane and braided ball-hairs of gray which brushed past his knees approached Willy and revealed to him the tale of Zox. Willy brought with him along his journey Endora, King of the Bajas. It is with Endora’s power, Willy was brought into the home of the Kiln-Wraiths. Battling through the terrors, their tale of battle with the Kiln-Wraiths is documented here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWXMQXvA8vg
At the end of this battle, Endora Baja and Willy Swaggins met Rawrzi “The Rueful” Rigatoni, a griffin programmed by Algyturtle the Gray. Rawrzi instructed the two that their job is not done yet. They’ve destroyed a mere fraction of the Kiln-Wraiths territory. To truly eliminate the Kiln-Wraiths, they must attack Zox. The real battle was just beginning.
Endora Baja and Willy Swaggins left at dawn, clutching tightly the One Kiln. Along the way, many Kiln-Wraiths had to be destroyed. But they knew they could not take on Zox alone. They required more men. They enlisted such masters of battle as the Shadowpriest Chaos, the Shadow of Bosnia, the Burgeoning Darkness, Shadowcat, Bunzy the Blackened, Mikelelel of Murkiness, Gayur the Gloom, and Leksar the Lightless.
It was under the leadership of Willy Swaggins that these warriors united. They would need all these men and more to take down the whole of Zox’s army of Kiln-Wraiths.
It was a fierce battle and few were left unscathed. But it was merely the beginning of Zox’s onslaught. The warriors were challenged to a battle of wits.
It was a dangerous game of cunning and terror, but Willy prevailed through shear strength of his mind, and clever manipulation. He controlled the pieces showing the skill of a master.
With every completed challenge, Willy Swaggins could see victory clearer and clearer. But the greatest challenge was coming.
He must battle Zox. The brawl itself took three days, Zox sending goblins faster than Willy and his warriors could slay them. The battle-field was a sea of blood and gore. The horrors of death and destruction laid throughout the land. A wisp of death was sensed every second, but from where, no one could see as the land was drenched with blood.
At last, Willy Swaggins approached the lair of Zox. The smell of brimstone and battle filled the air, suffocating and drowning out one’s senses. But Zox seemed to thrive in this. His days of slaving over the pits had twisted his body into a husk of stone. His arms swung with the force of an avalanche. Each of his hits decimated Willy’s steel plate, forged in the lands of Monkeytofu, in a time long past.
But the Oddgod had long noticed the existence of Zox. Zox may have had the Kilns of Power. But he had dug too deep and greedily. He did not obey the laws laid out by the Oddgod, and refused the warnings of the Lord of Shadows. Willy Swaggins was blessed by the Oddgod, and with the Oddgod’s power his sword forged within the First Age of Giygas slain Zox in one fell swoop
The conquest was long and arduous. But in the name of the Oddgod, all retribution is swift in motion.
It was dawn when Willy Swaggins left in the name of the Lord of Shadows. It is now dusk.
