Thats odd, I did indeed update it. In fact, I updated it, got frusterated, reset the cache for java, copied the update over a second time in case I had brain damage, got frusterated, reset the router in case it was my net, got frusterated, deleted all of the client, reset java's cache, wiped out everything related to temperary files on my computer, downloaded the client anew, and it still wasn't working right. But I have comcast internet so if it works fine for everyone else I'll blame their shitty service.
Edit: here is the first real actual error report its given me, in case anyone has any idea wtf:
1.65.5.14151221
Windows 10 10.0 x64, 1.8.0_151 amd64
ATI Technologies Inc. (AMD Radeon HD 8210) - 4.4.13399 Compatibility Profile Context 15.201.1151.1010
java.lang.RuntimeException: Delayed error in resource gfx/terobjs/arch/windmill (v54), from forking source backed by HTTP res source (
https://game.havenandhearth.com/hres/)
at haven.Resource$Pool$Queued.get(Resource.java:358)
at haven.Resource$Pool$Queued.get(Resource.java:327)
at haven.Session$CachedRes$Ref.get(Session.java:122)
at haven.Session$CachedRes$Ref.get(Session.java:115)
at haven.ResDrawable.getres(ResDrawable.java:84)
at haven.Gob.getres(Gob.java:693)
at haven.LocalMiniMap.drawicons(LocalMiniMap.java:190)
at haven.LocalMiniMap.draw(LocalMiniMap.java:464)
at haven.Widget.draw(Widget.java:673)
at haven.Widget.draw(Widget.java:678)
at haven.MinimapWnd.draw(MinimapWnd.java:220)
at haven.Widget.draw(Widget.java:673)
at haven.Widget.draw(Widget.java:678)
at haven.GameUI.draw(GameUI.java:673)
at haven.Widget.draw(Widget.java:673)
at haven.Widget.draw(Widget.java:678)
at haven.RootWidget.draw(RootWidget.java:67)
at haven.UI.draw(UI.java:137)
at haven.HavenPanel.rootdraw(HavenPanel.java:342)
at haven.HavenPanel.run(HavenPanel.java:600)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Unknown Source)
Caused by: haven.Resource$LoadException: Load error in resource gfx/terobjs/arch/windmill(v54), from forking source backed by HTTP res source (
https://game.havenandhearth.com/hres/)
at haven.Resource$Pool.handle(Resource.java:415)
at haven.Resource$Pool.access$1100(Resource.java:304)
at haven.Resource$Pool$Loader.run(Resource.java:556)
... 1 more
Suppressed: haven.Resource$LoadException: Wrong res version (53 != 54)
at haven.Resource.load(Resource.java:1696)
at haven.Resource.access$600(Resource.java:43)
at haven.Resource$Pool.handle(Resource.java:403)
... 3 more
Suppressed: haven.Resource$LoadException: Load error in resource gfx/terobjs/arch/windmill(v54), from local res source
at haven.Resource$Pool.handle(Resource.java:415)
... 3 more
Suppressed: haven.Resource$LoadException: Load error in resource gfx/terobjs/arch/windmill(v54), from filesystem res source (res)
... 4 more
Caused by: java.io.FileNotFoundException: res\gfx\terobjs\arch\windmill.res (The system cannot find the path specified)
at java.io.FileInputStream.open0(Native Method)
at java.io.FileInputStream.open(Unknown Source)
at java.io.FileInputStream.<init>(Unknown Source)
at haven.Resource$FileSource.get(Resource.java:196)
at haven.Resource$Pool.handle(Resource.java:399)
... 3 more
Caused by: java.io.FileNotFoundException: Could not find resource locally: gfx/terobjs/arch/windmill
at haven.Resource$JarSource.get(Resource.java:208)
at haven.Resource$Pool.handle(Resource.java:399)
... 3 more
Caused by: haven.Message$EOF: Early EOF in sized message with 3052 bytes left
at haven.LimitMessage.underflow(LimitMessage.java:59)
at haven.Message.rensure(Message.java:102)
at haven.Message.rget(Message.java:108)
at haven.Message.float32(Message.java:225)
at haven.PoseMorph$$Res.cons(PoseMorph.java:130)
at haven.VertexBuf$VertexRes.<init>(VertexBuf.java:498)
at sun.reflect.GeneratedConstructorAccessor10.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at java.lang.reflect.Constructor.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at haven.Resource$LayerConstructor.cons(Resource.java:757)
at haven.Resource.load(Resource.java:1705)
at haven.Resource.access$600(Resource.java:43)
at haven.Resource$Pool.handle(Resource.java:403)
... 3 more
Edit: Shockingly (Thats sarcasm) it turns out it was the fault of terrible comcast internet, and the issue appears to have resolved itself. It simply refused to connect to various random things and web pages, including apparently, the location with the res files.