The Codex of Boats

[skrylar]

The original excerpt:
The man did giveth warning to prepare thine towels, as a grand event was about to goeth down. He did warn all to lay themselves on the deck, whilst remaining on thine toes for the man was on a ship. He was on a ship, and he did declare to all that he was located on a ship. And he did decree that thou shalt take a close inspection of the ship. He did decree that thou shalt inspect him as he stood on the ship. And he did declare that he was unstoppable as he was on a ship, and that He was prepared with his swim trunks and flippy floppies. And so he did say he was riding a dolphin, and that He was splashing water upon thee. He doth decree that thou shalt never forget his standing upon thine boat. He also doth decree that he is the new king of the world whilst upon thine ship. And so he did decree all should stand upon thine toes once again, for he is on a ship. He doth express superiority over thine climbing of trees, for he climbs sea buoys. And he did speaketh unto his mother from afar that he hath stood upon the starboard bow of a ship with his arms spread wide, declaring to all that his location. And he did taunt the great God of the seas Poseidon. So He did also declare to all upon his return of his great conquering of merfolk.

---
The modernized version some might prefer:

1.0) The man did giveth warning to prepare thine towels, as a grand event was about to goeth down. He did warn all to lay themselves on the deck, whilst remaining on thine toes for the man was on a ship. He was on a ship, and he did declare to all that he was located on a ship.

1.1) And he did decree that thou shalt take a close inspection of the ship. He did decree that thou shalt inspect him as he stood on the ship. And he did declare that he was unstoppable as he was on a ship, and that He was prepared with his swim trunks and flippy floppies.

1.2) And so he did say he was riding a dolphin, and that He was splashing water upon thee.

1.3) He doth decree that thou shalt never forget his standing upon thine boat. He also doth decree that he is the new king of the world whilst upon thine ship. And so he did decree all should stand upon thine toes once again, for he is on a ship.

1.4) He doth express superiority over thine climbing of trees, for he climbs sea buoys. And he did speaketh unto his mother from afar that he hath stood upon the starboard bow of a ship with his arms spread wide, declaring to all that his location.

1.5) And he did taunt the great God of the seas Poseidon. So He did also declare to all upon his return of his great conquering of merfolk.

[theTrav]

tl
dr
;
use
more
line
ends.

please

[sabinati]

The man did giveth warning to prepare thine towels, as a grand event was about to goeth down. He did warn all to lay themselves on the deck, whilst remaining on thine toes for the man was on a ship. He was on a ship, and he did declare to all that he was located on a ship. And he did decree that thou shalt take a close inspection of the ship. He did decree that thou shalt inspect him as he stood on the ship. And he did declare that he was unstoppable as he was on a ship, and that He was prepared with his swim trunks and flippy floppies. And so he did say he was riding a dolphin, and that He was splashing water upon thee. He doth decree that thou shalt never forget his standing upon thine boat. He also doth decree that he is the new king of the world whilst upon thine ship. And so he did decree all should stand upon thine toes once again, for he is on a ship. He doth express superiority over thine climbing of trees, for he climbs sea buoys. And he did speaketh unto his mother from afar that he hath stood upon the starboard bow of a ship with his arms spread wide, declaring to all that his location. And he did taunt the great God of the seas Poseidon. So He did also declare to all upon his return of his great conquering of merfolk.

[Fjorn]

tl
dr
;
use
more
line
ends.

please

Do you have troubles in school because the textbooks have so many words?

[Cutuoff94]

I honestly had no issues reading that theTrav, and if you actually did read through it you see that there isn't really anywhere to stop at.

Anyway, nice one OP, it's a lot more subtle than these other boat threads. Let's just hope that not too many people will yell "I'm on a boat!" when these things finally do come out.

[theTrav]

Do you have troubles in school because the textbooks have so many words?

ZING!
Oh wow, such wit.
My school textbooks broke text up into paragraphs exceptionally well.

I honestly had no issues reading that theTrav, and if you actually did read through it you see that there isn't really anywhere to stop at.

YOU LIE! I split it up and read it through in the below format which is far less straining on the eyes.

The man did giveth warning to prepare thine towels, as a grand event was about to goeth down.

He did warn all to lay themselves on the deck, whilst remaining on thine toes for the man was on a ship.
He was on a ship, and he did declare to all that he was located on a ship.

And he did decree that thou shalt take a close inspection of the ship.
He did decree that thou shalt inspect him as he stood on the ship.
And he did declare that he was unstoppable as he was on a ship, and that He was prepared with his swim trunks and flippy floppies.

And so he did say he was riding a dolphin, and that He was splashing water upon thee.
He doth decree that thou shalt never forget his standing upon thine boat.
He also doth decree that he is the new king of the world whilst upon thine ship.

And so he did decree all should stand upon thine toes once again, for he is on a ship.
He doth express superiority over thine climbing of trees, for he climbs sea buoys.

And he did speaketh unto his mother from afar that he hath stood upon the starboard bow of a ship with his arms spread wide, declaring to all that his location.

And he did taunt the great God of the seas Poseidon.
So He did also declare to all upon his return of his great conquering of merfolk.

[CG62]

I'm quasi-dyslexic (quasi- because they say I'm not but I know I am) and I could read that just fine.

[VoodooDog]

Do you have troubles in school because the textbooks have so many words?

ZING!
Oh wow, such wit.
My school textbooks broke text up into paragraphs exceptionally well.

I honestly had no issues reading that theTrav, and if you actually did read through it you see that there isn't really anywhere to stop at.

YOU LIE! I split it up and read it through in the below format which is far less straining on the eyes.

The man did giveth warning to prepare thine towels, as a grand event was about to goeth down.

He did warn all to lay themselves on the deck, whilst remaining on thine toes for the man was on a ship.
He was on a ship, and he did declare to all that he was located on a ship.

And he did decree that thou shalt take a close inspection of the ship.
He did decree that thou shalt inspect him as he stood on the ship.
And he did declare that he was unstoppable as he was on a ship, and that He was prepared with his swim trunks and flippy floppies.

And so he did say he was riding a dolphin, and that He was splashing water upon thee.
He doth decree that thou shalt never forget his standing upon thine boat.
He also doth decree that he is the new king of the world whilst upon thine ship.

And so he did decree all should stand upon thine toes once again, for he is on a ship.
He doth express superiority over thine climbing of trees, for he climbs sea buoys.

And he did speaketh unto his mother from afar that he hath stood upon the starboard bow of a ship with his arms spread wide, declaring to all that his location.

And he did taunt the great God of the seas Poseidon.
So He did also declare to all upon his return of his great conquering of merfolk.

waste of time FTW

[theTrav]

waste of time FTW

I have a lot to waste and the forums are fairly quiet... all of them are... is there something happening that I should know about?

[Jackard]

i feel compelled to apologize for theTrav's display of idiocy in this thread (and every other)

i am truly sorry you must endure his drivel