A woman grunts and screams and pushes, having a baby for the first time. Her husband grips her hand tightly whispering words of encouragement, just as excited at the prospect of bringing a brand new person into the world, a part of himself. The doctor makes pleasant conversation throughout, inquiring about the couple's wedding, and their first kiss, all the while instructing the woman to push and breathe.
"Have you picked out a name for your new baby girl?" The doctor says jubilantly as the baby exits the birth canal.
"It's a girl?" The woman asks breathlessly.
"It's a girl." The doctor replies smiling broadly and wrapping the baby in a towel.
The baby, however, hasn't made a noise since its birth and the woman is growing concerned as the doctor hands her the child.
"She isn't moving or crying, is she ok?" The mother asks, worried.
"oh no she's definitely dead." The doctor replies jovially.
The would-be father is outraged and shouts "what kind of doctor are you?!"
To which the doctor replies "Oh I'm not a doctor, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night. I could afford it because I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."
What if... This happened.
16 posts
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What if... This happened.
by Gaiadin » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:16 am
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Gaiadin - Posts: 228
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Re: What if... This happened.
by btaylor » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:23 am
Terrible. Who in their right mind would use Geico when Esurance is so much easier? No paperwork which helps the environment and it's so quick and easy. Quote, buy, print.
The unfed mind devours itself. - Gore Vidal
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btaylor - Posts: 1691
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Re: What if... This happened.
by Blaze » Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:51 am
You know what's really terrible? Cell-phone companies charging hidden fees.
Now that's just wrong.
Now that's just wrong.
You see a masterful engraving by Blaze. On it is Blaze, bears, boars, and foxes. Blaze is striking down the bears. The boars are screaming. The foxes are in a fetal position. The image relates to the return of Blaze in the late winter of 2009.
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Blaze - Posts: 1072
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Jest - Posts: 94
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CG62 - Posts: 591
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Re: What if... This happened.
by sabinati » Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:37 pm
what the fuck? don't post bullshit. geico was actually more expensive than allstate for me.
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sabinati - Posts: 15513
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Re: What if... This happened.
by Agarrett » Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:49 pm
What has search overload done to this guy? Bing is so much better.
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Agarrett - Posts: 673
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Re: What if... This happened.
by Chakravanti » Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:58 pm
That's FUCKING RICH. I lol'ed like a mofo. Dead baby jokes ftw.
Well what is this that I can't see
With ice cold hands takin' hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
-Ralph Stanley, O Death!
With ice cold hands takin' hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
-Ralph Stanley, O Death!
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Chakravanti - Posts: 3345
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Re: What if... This happened.
by Raephire » Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:16 pm
Blaze wrote:You know what's really terrible? Cell-phone companies charging hidden fees.
Now that's just wrong.
I've successfully sued my cellphone company for refusing to hold third party companies responsible for commiting fraud.
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Raephire - Posts: 648
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Re: What if... This happened.
by Cajoes » Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:20 am
Geico jokes have never been that funny to be quite frank.
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Cajoes - Posts: 682
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