I'm really glad you're enjoying the game! Do not neglect to spend time improving your own safety/defenses.
The unholy lag is certainly
not caused by unfinished projects.
Borka can probably pull up a link to the dev's statements regarding the source of the lag.
Advice - when you put your trust in someone, that sometimes means giving them the chance to hurt you, so make sure trust is well-placed and/or make sure you have a way to get back at them if they betray

but even though there are risks, don't shut yourself off from the rest of the world. You may have hardships and setbacks due to betrayals but that doesn't mean it's not worth getting out there and searching for trustworthy people to team up with. Finding someone to barter with (for example) can be well worth the risks.
vouch - emerald can be trusted more than the majority of players can.