If permadeath really turns you off to the game then Haven probably isn't for you. There are tons of other games out there that might make you happier. As much fun as Haven is, it is a permadeath game by design and so by design it's not meant to cater to everyone.
Personally the cycle and thrill of threat and death in Haven really draws me to it. I see starting over with a new character from scratch and picking up at my home from where I left off is a fresh start. Sure, it's disheartening for a little bit, but you have to come to understand that life moves on one way or another. It's up to you whether you move with it or away from it. =)