Haven and Hearth Parody Thread

[Tonkyhonk]

yup, its summer! every summer we need this tune!

Eddie Cochran - Summertime Blues
many covers, use your own favorite version such as The Who, Marc Bolan, Brian Setzer, etc, etc...

Well, I'm a'gonna raise a fuss
And I'm a'gonna raise a holler
I've been working all summer
Just to buy me a dhelm
Well I went to the trader
Said I had a payment
He said "Sold out, son, you gotta come back again"

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
But there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

Well Jorb 'n' Loftar told me
"Son you gotta tell us 'bout the bug
If you want to use the jump
To go raiding next Sunday"
Well I did report it before
Mined hours to kill
Ruskie said "You bugousers, we are crash server for ya"
*server crashes*

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
Cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

Gonna take two weeks
Gonna have a fine vacation
Gonna forget my problems
And enjoy Haven & Hearth
Well I went to the Haven homepage
It said, quote: "The server last talked to me
at XX:XX:XX, XX/XX/XX(UTC)."

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
Cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

Found my area gettin nuked
I'm stuck inside my house
Sent Loftar a pm
But he hasn't been reading yet
Well I went to IRC to chat
Loftar said, quote: "If there will have to be a reset,
I will ban everyone who spoke of w6"

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a'gonna do
Cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

[Tonkyhonk]

*whiner alert*

James Cotton - Laggin' Thing

It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
Laggin' all night long

Hey, everybody come gather around
Let's play together and lagging on down
We'll join the lag that can't be beat
Let's clap your hands and stomp your feet

It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
Laggin' all night long

I was partying at other night
The raiding band was out of sight
Clicking was funky and curios we bite
So we lagged lagged lagged till the broad daylight

It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
Laggin' all night long

It's laggy, y'all, it's laggy!

It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
Laggin' all night long

I was mining in a cave other night
Snake and zigzag you all know, right?
When you get the lag, you feel real dick
All the cave-ins hit ya by just one click

It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
It's a laggin' thang
Laggin' all night long
:

[Projeear]

Alright, time to reminisce. I think *everybody* can agree with this being their first village;
(Also, won't be able to record tonight, my nephew is staying over. Bah.)

Madness - Newbie Village

Lawspeaker tries his best
Newbies in the village are
puttin him to the test
He's even been neglecting sleep
Palisade organization
is a hell of a beast

Newbie village, those were the best of our times
Newbie village, those were the best of our...

My village had a crowd,
There's always something going wrong,
And it's usually quite loud.
My chieftain is so proud,
His arrogance is over the top,
And a joke is not allowed.

Newbie village, those were the best of our times
Newbie village, those were the best of our ...

Newbie village, those were the best of our times
Newbie village, those were the best of our...
(Something tells you that you've got to get away from it)

Hunters head out for the hunt.
Coming back after ten minutes with ten dead,
Then they respawn back naked.
I told them not to attack that bear,
"But what do you know?" they declare,
I wasn't there...

Newbie village, those were the best of our times
Newbie village, those were the best of our...

I remember way back then when everyone was nice and when
We would have such a very good time such a fine time
Such a peaceful time.
And I remember how we'd play simply waste the day away
Then we'd say nothing could ever beat us - village of dreamers.

<Now in world 5...>
Lawspeaker tries his best
Newbies in the village aren't
puttin him to the test
He's still been neglecting sleep
Brick Wall organization
is a hell of a beast.

Veteran village, those were the best of our times
Veteran village, those were the best of our times

Veteran village, those were the best of our times
Veteran village, those were the best of our times

Veteran village, those were the best of our times
Veteran village, those were the best of our ...

Veteran Village, is our castle and our keep
Claim of the Village, in the middle of our street.

Log house, that was where we used to sleep
Log house, in the middle of our street.

Newbie Village ...

[Tonkyhonk]

= Sarcasm Alert =
Do not proceed if you do not understand sarcasm!

Country Joe McDonald - "Feel Like I'm Fixing To Die"

Come on all of you big strong men
Haven and Hearth needs your help again
He's got himself in a terrible bug
Getting stoned on Haven drug
So put down your scythe and pick up a bow
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn, next stop is server crash
And it's five, six, seven, open up the server again
Well, ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

Come on forum threads don't be slow
Why man this war is a go-go
There's plenty good points to be made
By supplying the army with the tools of its trade
Let's hope and pray that if they jump the wall
They jump it on famous vaults

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn, next stop is server crash
And it's five, six, seven, open up the server again
Well, ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

Come on generals, let's move fast
Your big chance has come at last
Now you can go out and get those reds
Cos the only good commie is the one that's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn, next stop is server crash
And it's five, six, seven, open up the server again
Well, ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

Listen people, I don't know how you expect to stop the bugs
If you can't sing any better than that
There's about 500 of you fuckers out there
I want you to start singing, come on

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn, next stop is server crash
And it's five, six, seven, open up the server again
Well, ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

Come on Americans throughout the land
No matter where you're from if you know Angliiskii
Come on forumers don't hesitate
Admit you're anal friends before it's too late
And you can be the first ones on your grid
To have your boy live as Jorb forbid

And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn, next stop is server crash
And it's five, six, seven, open up the server again
Well, ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

[Jotun]

Berserk intro on english
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAzALLi3OUk

Autists feel no shame
About their shitty game
Even mongoloids make updates
So tune your down syndrome
And updates will be done
There's no fun, only bugs
It's up to jorb
The updates, you won't find them
'cause loftar holds them back
I can
I can troll global on
Tell me what, tell me what you are
Don't know why, don't know why
Even admins flame
Tell me what, tell me what
Tell me what'd I say
I don't know why, don't know why
Too late, it's too late

[Projeear]

Loftar's got his (Ban)Hammer Out


I remember way back, when i was just a newb
goin' places with my axe and saw
It used to scare me to death,
how loftar used to act
after six or seven beers he's draught
We were sittin' at a table,
when loftar got disabled,
all the liquor runnin' through his head
Soon i got to feastin', loftar started smirkin',
when he grabbed me by the arm and said;

Don't look now, i've got my hammer out,
bashin' everybody in town
Faces turnin' red,
we were wishin' we were dead
There were people postin' all around, yeah
When loftar get to drinkin,
there ain't much thinkin'
There's nothing anybody can find
you just hope and pray
there never comes a day,
when loftar's out drinkin' online

Well, we got him in a cart,
and we started drivin' home,
when loftar said he had to go
Sacre pulled over,
we were standin' by a boulder,
while loft' was puttin' on a show
Well, we started up the road,
and loftar stood up,
with the pants still around his knees
When we heard loftar holler
if you give me a dollar,
Well, I'll let you take your leave in peace.

Don't look now, loftar's got his hammer out,
bashin' everybody in town
Faces turnin' red,
we were wishin' we were dead
There were people postin' all around, yeah
When loftar get to drinkin,
there ain't much thinkin'
There's nothing anybody can find
you just hope and pray
there never comes a day,
when loftar's out drinkin' online.

You just hope and pray
there never comes a day,
when loftar's out drinkin' online.

[Projeear]

Dear Loftar

Dear loftar, I don't think I like you anymore...
You used to make me crave, now you never come out your door
Ohhhh dear loftar, I don't like you anymore.
Used to be you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine
That's all we needed to get by...
Now It seems things have changed, and I think that your the one to blame,
Dear loftar I don't like you anymore.

He sings,
Dear Projeear, I don't think I like you anymore...
Cause when you get to postin', you think of me in places I've never been before
Dear Projeear, I don't like you anymore.
Why can't you get a grip on your problem of misreality
Come to terms truely how you feel...
If we put our heads together, we'll get through this forever
Dear Projeear, I think I like you after all.

Ohhhh and Projeear, please stop sendin', pic's of your balls. ( )

[Tonkyhonk]

Keziah Jones - The Wisdom Behind the Smile (Cash)

I was standing on one of the stolen boats
Saying goodbye to the nuked village
When the news broke that we would be used and abused
Since RMT began
To some its kinda rude to refuse
The bootleg version of an act of trade
Hearthlings individuals can change that phrase to bribery
Change that phrase to bribery
Change that phrase

Because the wisdom behind the smile is called "Cash"

I know that money lies to me
It's freedom on paper but nobody's free
You know it's gonna kill for me
To see so many people diggin
"The bootleg version"

Money bleeds, greed is a need
Only to those
Only to those
Only to those
Only to those that can't afford it
They're diggin the bootleg version

Because the wisdom behind the smile is called "Cash"

[Tonkyhonk]

Cee Lo Green - Fuck You

I see you hiding in the vault
With the girl i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the cheeze in my basement
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!

Yeah i'm sorry, i can't afford a troll skull,
But that don't mean i can't get you one (some day)
I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I picture the fool that lives in vault with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

Now i know, that i had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause playing a game with you ass ain't cheap.

I picture the fool that lives in vault with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
i really hate yo ass right now

(chorus)

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna RMT so bad?
(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell moderator but he told me
"it's to clean the trade thread"
(trade thread, trade thread, trade thread)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy mods? Oh! I beg you oh!
I still beg you. Oooh!

(chorus)

i had been working on this one for a while with different parody idea, but changed it to this due to some threads.

[ThePilfererOfHearths]

You guys seem to have a knack for writing texts!
I might join in with you someday soon