The Official Cool Story Bro Thread

[Wolfang]

Cause people from Sodom got aneurysms every time you said they were Wayneville |||

I find it funny. ............................................................................................ ............. 'Graveyard of people who are say Wayneville'

[ravenguard19]

Cause people from Sodom got aneurysms every time you said they were Wayneville |||

I find it funny. ............................................................................................ ............. 'Graveyard of people who are say Wayneville'

[Wolfang]

Are you implying there are flaws in my drawing?

[ravenguard19]

Nope, your drawing is very cool and awesome. I think that you had a long time to learn to handle this level of ms paint, i'am impressed

[krikke93]

Hahaha wolfgang, funny

[museum]

What better place for a stupid story than this thread?

Storytime: Annexation of the Chocolate Factory
A courteous bump.

Spending time as usual, I went out to look for curios and maybe some flotsams (no luck though).

I came back to my isolated home that is a bit far from eyeshot if you are boating by, and saw something peculiar. There was some geared up guy at my doorstep.

W5 instincts kicked in and I instantly logged out. I hopped on an alt and spawned at my main's hearth (on a different island), only to realize I put my emergency-raid-boat on yet another, different island.

I go back on my main, and luckily the faggot who was raiding my place was AFK. I decided to hide behind a tree, zoom out, wait, and hope he didn't have Ender's client. Miraculously, he didn't. I laughed at how dumb this guy was, "raiding" some house (did I mention he put his hearthfire on my doorstep, too?) with nothing but a table and some crates in it, filled with fish and bones. What's worse is that I let a noob sleep in my house, and that fucker is locked inside until Billy here moves his hearth. My crops weren't even harvestable, but he did take my seeds (notice I say "take" because none of this land was claimed. I was going to claim it that night with the bones and dreams inside but he locked me out.)

So, hiding behind a tree, I pulled off a Wizard of Oz type thing. I started talking to him which freaked him out a little bit and he started running around trying to find me. I was off of his screen and zoomed out, so I could see him but he couldn't see me. A conversation ensued, and eventually, I let him catch me after around 10 minutes. He threatened to kill me in the dumbest way possible, but I knew he couldn't target me behind the tree. So, he started chopping down the trees and I didn't bother running -- I was overstuffed, was low on water, and my boat was closer to him than me. He was too gullible to kill me, anyways.

He caught me and offered ME a peace-pact. Here I am, my house being ransacked and the perpetrator is the one to initiate a truce. I accepted, merely because I wanted my shit back. His next objective was to make a village on my land around my house with my supplies and have me help. I asked him to give me my seeds back, but he didn't reply. I wondered what a fighter like him is doing with the seeds of a wannabe farmer like me.

The story ends here, there is more to it but it continues to unfold. I just want my stuff back but it will take some cocksucking to get.

Here's a finely tailored image of the situation, along with the chat:
http://s1.bild.me/bilder/030611/3877592umm_copy.jpg

Cliffs:
He ransacks my house in the dumbest way possible.
He has the ability to kill me more easily than I can kill him.
He spares me under the condition that I help him build a village around my house.
He has my shit.
He's got a little sidekick on the way.
He doesn't have Ender's, let alone know how to find it, install it, or use it.
He's 14.
I doubt he reads the forums.
I want my shit back.

I had one too many chortles over this.

[ravenguard19]

What better place for a stupid story than this thread?

Storytime: Annexation of the Chocolate Factory
A courteous bump.

Spending time as usual, I went out to look for curios and maybe some flotsams (no luck though).

I came back to my isolated home that is a bit far from eyeshot if you are boating by, and saw something peculiar. There was some geared up guy at my doorstep.

W5 instincts kicked in and I instantly logged out. I hopped on an alt and spawned at my main's hearth (on a different island), only to realize I put my emergency-raid-boat on yet another, different island.

I go back on my main, and luckily the faggot who was raiding my place was AFK. I decided to hide behind a tree, zoom out, wait, and hope he didn't have Ender's client. Miraculously, he didn't. I laughed at how dumb this guy was, "raiding" some house (did I mention he put his hearthfire on my doorstep, too?) with nothing but a table and some crates in it, filled with fish and bones. What's worse is that I let a noob sleep in my house, and that fucker is locked inside until Billy here moves his hearth. My crops weren't even harvestable, but he did take my seeds (notice I say "take" because none of this land was claimed. I was going to claim it that night with the bones and dreams inside but he locked me out.)

So, hiding behind a tree, I pulled off a Wizard of Oz type thing. I started talking to him which freaked him out a little bit and he started running around trying to find me. I was off of his screen and zoomed out, so I could see him but he couldn't see me. A conversation ensued, and eventually, I let him catch me after around 10 minutes. He threatened to kill me in the dumbest way possible, but I knew he couldn't target me behind the tree. So, he started chopping down the trees and I didn't bother running -- I was overstuffed, was low on water, and my boat was closer to him than me. He was too gullible to kill me, anyways.

He caught me and offered ME a peace-pact. Here I am, my house being ransacked and the perpetrator is the one to initiate a truce. I accepted, merely because I wanted my shit back. His next objective was to make a village on my land around my house with my supplies and have me help. I asked him to give me my seeds back, but he didn't reply. I wondered what a fighter like him is doing with the seeds of a wannabe farmer like me.

The story ends here, there is more to it but it continues to unfold. I just want my stuff back but it will take some cocksucking to get.

Here's a finely tailored image of the situation, along with the chat:
http://s1.bild.me/bilder/030611/3877592umm_copy.jpg

Cliffs:
He ransacks my house in the dumbest way possible.
He has the ability to kill me more easily than I can kill him.
He spares me under the condition that I help him build a village around my house.
He has my shit.
He's got a little sidekick on the way.
He doesn't have Ender's, let alone know how to find it, install it, or use it.
He's 14.
I doubt he reads the forums.
I want my shit back.

I had one too many chortles over this.

Man, they guy who "raided" u just got the award of being the dumbiest raider in the history -.-
I think that he does'nt even know how to kill somebody "maybe ill click thsi little arrow hmm"
And yea he's so fucking geared, with so pro helm and other shit. Iam proud of u Pro raider!

[museum]

Storytime: Annexation of the Chocolate Factory
A courteous bump.

The followup:

I logged in the next day and the kid was there with a new character, apparently he died again and wanted to kill me for using some leather without his permission. He changed his mind since he was in a hurry to get to this new village and he wanted me to go along. I played along and began to carry the boat, and me being the one with Ender's I hid trees, put the boat down behind a tree, got in it, and drove away. I called him a sucker, but I didn't get my shit back (yet). I had a plan though.

Commentary: I traveled for about 2 hours, the entire time the kid was shit talking me. Fraps didn't get the screenshots because I didn't realize I was pressing Scroll Lock instead of PrntScrn. I will say his insults and comebacks were pure, immature gold. Things like, "yeah as soon as you get off that boat ill sumen you bitch", even though I didn't leave any scents and he didn't have ranging.

My plan was to go as far away as possible, I had doubts about his "connections" with Dis and powerful players but I couldn't risk it. I went down a river quite a ways, sat in the woods, and talked in global for a bit. I was explaining what just happened, and surprisingly (when I was just about to give up on my stuff), someone in global lived no less than 5 minutes away from where I ditched the kid. Said person was bored, and decided to go and kill him.

Things looked brighter, so I hearthed back to my island and saw the vigilante there. I waited with him, and we found the kid outside. Vigilante took maybe two swings at the kid and the kid died. I called him a faggot before he died for all the stupid shit he put me through, his death was justified. I went in the kids house, since the vigilante destroyed his hearth in the doorway, and got all of my shit back plus the kid's curios (Seer's bones and a cone cow). Credits to the vigilante. I immediately claimed the land like I planned to the night of the "raid", and a great day was had.

Cliffs:
I ditched the kid on an island.
A vigilante killed him.
I got my shit back.
I didn't get any screenshots.

[Rreed1996]

We can walk on water. I think its decided.

^cool story

[SgtCayir]

We can walk on water. I think its decided.

^cool story

xD i remember that