Your favourite joke.

[maze]

When you go black.

Your baby's going to be on crack.

[Kaios]

man that's not funny

[screwbag]

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get em out again?....Tortilla chips

[Amanda44]

@ Saif - thx

Inner peace:

We could all use more peace and calm in our lives, a doctor on tv this morning said the way to achieve inner preace is to finish all the things you have started and then just put to one side. I looked around my house to find things i had started and not finished, there was more than i thought. So, i finished the bottle of wine i opened for sunday lunch, a bottle of whiskey i had a glass from last night, a bootle of baileys, a buttle of wum, a pockage of prungles, the mainder of botle prozac, the res of the chesecake and a bx of chocltz. Yu haf no ider how bludy fablis i feel rite now. Pleze tell ur frens in nede of inna pees. Oh, an telum u luvum!

[screwbag]

OK, Classic skydiving joke...

A paratrooper is sitting at the bar after a day of training. He looks pretty bummed out. His buddy asks him "hey man, why you look so sad?"

"well.." he replied "today was my first day of paratrooper training, and after all the classroom work we get on our gear, and we load into the plane. We climb to altitude, and they open the door. When it came to my turn, I completely froze in the doorway. and the sergeant screamed at me "IF YOU DON'T JUMP RIGHT NOW BOY, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!!"....

The troopers buddy pondered this for a brief moment and then asked "well, did you jump?"

the trooper replied shrugging his shoulders "well, yeah... a little at first..."

[Amanda44]

Mike was driving along the coast road when a police car came up beside him and pulled him over. Mike rolled down his window and asked "Is there a problem officer?"
"No, no problem at all" the cop replied, "I've just been observing your safe driving and am pleased to present you with a £2,000 ($5,000) safe driving award. Congratulations sir, what do you think you'll spend the money on?"
Mike thought for a moment and said, "Well, i guess i'll go get that driving license"
Jane, sitting quietly in the passenger seat quickly spoke up, "Don't worry officer, he's just being a wise guy, he's always like that when he's stoned"
Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice shouted "Are we over the border yet?"