Haven and Hearth Parody Thread

[Tonkyhonk]

i just hope most understand the sarcasm in here.

Dire Straights - Money for Nothing

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You play the game on internet
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install macro bot scripts
Custom clients multiple running
We gotta forage these edelweiss
We gotta boil these river mussels

See the little faggot with RoBs and a necklace
Yeah buddy that’s his own gear
That little faggot got his own dragon helm
That little faggot he’s a millionaire

We gotta install macro bot scripts
Custom clients multiple running
We gotta forage these edelweiss
We gotta boil these river mussels

Look a' here
I shoulda learned to play the game
I shoulda learned to read them wikis
Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera
Man we could have some
And he's up there, what's that? High quality clays?
Bashin' palisades like a King-Kong, jeez
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

We gotta install macro bot scripts
Custom clients multiple running
We gotta forage these edelweiss
We gotta boil these river mussels

Look a' here
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the game on internet
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

Money for nothin' and your chicks for free

Look at that, look at that

Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
I want my, I want my, I want my RMT
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

[Tonkyhonk]

Devs (2011)

Devs?
Devs.... Come back!

[ThePilfererOfHearths]

Devs (2011)

Devs?
Devs.... Come back!

Being a village member

Hempfields neva endin'
Massa got me farmin
Someday massa set me free

[Tonkyhonk]

Soca, baby!

David rudder - The Hammer


Somewhere up in Haven and Hearth
A few months ago
A man had a hammer
Used to follow him to and fro
He used to use it to pound a wall
Or sometimes a stupid man
All in the river systems
Never miss Congress news
One day the old hammer just disappear
Some say that it vanish into thin air

Where de man wid de hammer gone
Tell me, tell me where he gone
Anybody know where de hammer gone
Tell me, tell me where he gone
Can you tell me what going on
Tell me, tell me where he gone
I want to know where de hammer gone
Tell me, tell me where he gone

Why you up and leave, trail
Why you make me grieve, trail
Hammer tell me flat, trail
Why you do we dat, trail
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more

From August of 2011
Hammer went to sleep
After threads of making noise,
Not even a peep
He used to move wid de dragon helm man
All through this Haven land
Always on the scene
They used to control a battering ram
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more
Who holding de hammer I want to know.

Where de man wid de hammer gone
Tell me, tell me where he gone
Look Jorb and Loftar, what going on
Tell me, tell me where he gone
This thing like the forum boot on meh corn
Tell me, tell me where he gone
And now I hear it by Kirribilli pawned
Tell me, tell me where he gone

Children
Search under yuh bed, trail
All above yuh head, trail
Look behind the door, trail
What yuh waiting for, trail
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more

On a red decayed boat
Riding to the site
Leaving hearthfire in vault
Spirits at the fight
As we gather round that day
I hear Sister Sara say
How last night she see a sign
She see the hammer and it doing fine
Same time server lag she bawl out "You see!"
He done start to tune a ram already

Where de man wid de hammer gone
Tell me, tell me where he gone
Sister Sara, what going on
Tell me, tell me where he gone
This hammer giving we a heavy horn,
Tell me, tell me where he gone
This thing like a police boot on meh corn,
Tell me, tell me where he gone

Search all through the town, trail
Turn it upside down, trail
Check on top de hill, trail
On dat brickwall sill, trail
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more
Tell them, tell them
Well the dhelm doh walk the trail no more
Tell him again
:

[Tonkyhonk]

in da HOUSE, yo!

Junior Reid (with Coldcut) - Stop this crazy thing
*skip to 03:11 to start the tune, this one is the best vid i could find from youtube

See what they doin'
People are raidin'
Noobs are cryin'
Animals are dyin'
Villages who lie to you
Don't let them tell you what to do
We gotta stop whooay
Stop this crazy thing

Chorus
Rock if you're rockin'
Shake if you're shakin' yo
Move if you're movin'
Skank if you're Skankin'
Skankin' Skankin'
Stabayoo-stabadey-stabastoo-badey...
Sabinati is a Goon

Stop this crazy thing

Meanwhile back in Paradox...
aaaaaahhhhh!

Plans that they dealin'
It's a world without feelin'
So all that they doin'
Drivin' us to ruin
Get up hearthlings, get up hearthlings, get up hearthlings
And stop whooay
Stop this crazy thing

Chorus

C'mon everybody, let's do it right
Stop the fuss, stop the fight
C'mon everybody, let's do it right
Stop this crazy thing

C'mon everybody let's all unite
All unite, whether you're black or white
C'mon everybody let's all unite
Stop this crazy thing

We got the game to play
We just can't refuse it
So what the game keep on playing
This all I've got to say

Chorus

C'mon everybody let's do it right
Stop the fuss, stop the fight
C'mon everybody let's do it right
Stop this crazy thing

jr longroad.jpg

[ThePilfererOfHearths]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzxWbURBRRc
The King - In the ghetto

As the arrow flies
On a cold and grey H&H mornin'
A poor little baby russian is born
In the Haven (in the Haven)

And his comrades cry
Cuz if there's one thing that they don't need
It's another little bugabuser to feed
In the Haven (In the Haven)

Oh people don't you understand
The newbie needs a helping hand
He'll grow to be an angry thief someday
Take a look at you and me
Are we too blind to see?
Do we simply use our swords and take his life away?

Well the server runs
And a hungry little boy with the tuskhelm goes
Steals and kills as the grows (in the Haven)

And his bloodthirst burns
So he starts to roam the rivers at night
He learns how to track and he learns how to fight in the Haven (in the Haven)

Then one night in boredom
The young newb breaks away
He buys an rbow
Steals a boat
Tries to kill, but his village cries

As a crowd gathers 'scents from the angsty young man
Face down in the forrest with a bow in his hand in the Haven (in the Haven)
And as his young char dies (in the Haven)

As the arrow flies
On a cold and grey H&H mornin'
A poor little baby russian is born
And the global cries (in the Haven)

[Tonkyhonk]

idk why, but ...just cant get this tune out of my head now.

Spin Doctors - Two Bitches

One, two bitches run before you
That's what I said now
Bitches, bitches who hardcore you
Just go ahead now
One has dhelm in his head slot
There're some dead, now
This one said he wants to raid your farm plot
Ain't in his head, now

This one he got a princely racket
That's what I said now
Got some Navy SEALs upon his jacket
Ain't in his head now
You murder him, his father will surely pwn you irl
How 'bout that now
You murder me, his father will disown you eh?
He'll eat his hat, now

Murder him, murder me
I'm the one with no better loots baby can't you see?
I ain't got no troll skull or river pearl
But I know what a ranger and vaults ought to be
I know what a ranger and vaults ought to be

Said if you want to call me noobie
Just go ahead now
And if you like to show them screenies
Just go ahead now
And if you want to make me sour
Just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now

[bmjclark]

i
This one he got a princely racket
That's what I said now
Got some Navy SEALs upon his jacket
Ain't in his head now
You murder him, his father will surely pwn you irl
How 'bout that now
You murder me, his father will disown you eh?
He'll eat his hat, now

[Gauteamus]

Hopefully the first one in a series of great Dylan songs:
(for example A Hard Ram's A-Gonna Hit hardly needs editing at all)

The Grids They Are A Changin'
Come gather 'round hearthlings
Wherever you bot.
And admit that the forests
Around you has rot'd.
And accept it that soon
Grass will will be all you got.
If your planks to you is worth shavin’
Then you better start choppin' or you’ll end up with naught.
For the grids they are a-changin’

Come Lawspeakers, and Chieftains
Hear how I feel.
Don’t save on the linen
And hoard all the steel.
If we don't claim this mountain
Sure somebody will.
There’s a bear outside and it is ragin’
It’ll soon smash your ovens and your nice plate of steel.
For the grids they are a-changin’

Come allies and vet'rans
Throughout the land.
Don't criticize players
Who can’t understand.
The noobs and the russians
Are beyond your command.
This old world is rapidly agin’
Please get set for the new one, and rally your band
For the grids they are a-changin’

The sprite it is drawn
The mechanics in code.
The crawling one now
Will be riding on road.
And the boring cloths now
Dyed in lapis and woad.
If Loftar can figure out shadin'
And outstatted now will later be bold
For the grids they are a-changin’

[Tonkyhonk]

Melanie Safka - Look What They've Done To My Song Ma

Melanie sings :

melanie.JPG

Look what they done to my song ma
Look what they done to my song
Well it's the only thing
That I could do half right and it's turning out all wrong ma
Look what they done to my song

a newb sings :

hearthling.JPG

Look what they done to my camp ma
Look what they done to my camp
Well they bashed it like a chicken shack
And I think i'm half insane ma
Look what they done to my camp

a vet sings :
I wish I could find a good game to live in
I wish I could find a good game
Well if I could find a real good game
I'd never have to come here and look at
What they done to my game

Jorb & Loftar sing :

tsquare edit.JPG

But maybe it'll all be alright ma
Maybe it'll all be okay
Well if people are buying pearls
They'll donate more someday ma
Look what they done to my game