I think the whole point of everything said is that you make this game how you want and shape it how you see fit.
I have never initiated an attack on anyone since i started playing haven back at the end of world 3. Most think its hilarious, cute or im lying but im a carebear, abd the general response to being a carebear is often that they end up dead. And i have died, not because i was a carebear but because i didnt get the game and didnt know anyone within yhis game.
I set up a town based on my socialist carebear ideology, i set rules and guidelines fir my villagers to follow, i pick good people who think like me and help others and dont aimlessly attack ppl for giggles. Ofcourse eventually someone breaks those rules and they are removed from the town. But poibt being is that haven can be woven how you want, it doesnt mean you wont be attacked or u wont die, but when you understand it better you can make it work for you.