Whoever's cutting down the apple trees around Bottleneck, I hope you're happy. Your attempts to thwart our settlement's growth are hilarious, as nothing will stop the mighty dwarven might, but you will still seem to be nothing more than a bug beneath the feet of dwarven imperiality! We will crush you, your ancestors and your descendents in one fell sweep! Now, stop it, before we have to draw out the big guns.
To anyone who spots a female wandering around Bottleneck ( the Bay 12 Games / Dwarf Fortress town ), report the sighting please. We know her name, but we won't disclose it until she's dead. We also suspect her main character, and will be taking appropriate action in due course.