Let's tell a story!

[darkm1k4]

Hello everyone!

Today i would like to start a thread that exists in all "off-topic" sections of forums and since there isn't any active one here, i'll start it from scratch. In this thread i would like to get help from the community to write a epic and funny story about a mysterious warrior (or maybe just a ordinary farmer) and his adventures on this dangerous world, just from small sentences and lots of ideias from different people.

This can go amazingly good or terribly bad, but here are the rules:
-One sentence/line per user
-The same user can't post twice in a row
-This mysterious man lives in a medieval fantasy world, so don't speak about jet fighters and super cars
-Every sentence must end in some kind of suspense so that the next user can continue the story

This is how it starts:
In the forgotten lands, there was once a man called...

[NOOBY93]

John the One-brow. Now, the reason they called him that is...

[Tiberium]

His brow was as thick as a cows tale, and that leaves us to think....

[Dzedajus]

that he was a sand nigger.

[darkm1k4]

John was a strong and brave man with a big...

[Dzedajus]

oasis in a middle of desert, where he was preparing an army to invade sweden.

[Tiberium]

To kill jorb and loftar because of the lack of updates to haven

[darkm1k4]

His army included a fat bearded woman and 200...

[WaffleEggnog]

Sandwiches for her to eat, however, on the way...

[caz]

she came across a dark cavern, as soon as she entered...