Cat Help

[jordancoles]

[12:27:00 PM] Jordan "ThenWhut" Coles: How do I get
[12:27:04 PM] Jordan "ThenWhut" Coles: A cat to stop pissing
[12:27:08 PM] Jordan "ThenWhut" Coles: On everything in my fucking house
[12:27:15 PM] Jordan "ThenWhut" Coles: Legit question
[12:27:30 PM] Jordan "ThenWhut" Coles: Apparently I'm not allowed to beat them or they won't stop
[12:27:38 PM] Jordan "ThenWhut" Coles: So how do I do it

[jordancoles]

This little asshole pissed on my pants yesterday and now my backpack today, I hate cats!!!

[NOOBY93]

Owner of 7 cats here.
You need to put sand in your room and take a shit in it.

[jordancoles]

This cat has been going out of its way to piss on stuff the last 2 days. I had my bag upright and pushed against the wall, the litterbox was like 10 steps away. The cat clearly took TIME AND EFFORT to piss on my things.

How do you get a cat to stop if it's just a dick like that?

[WaffleEggnog]

This cat has been going out of its way to piss on stuff the last 2 days. I had my bag upright and pushed against the wall, the litterbox was like 10 steps away. The cat clearly took TIME AND EFFORT to piss on my things.

How do you get a cat to stop if it's just a dick like that?

The first step, is not buying a fucking cat.

[NOOBY93]

This cat has been going out of its way to piss on stuff the last 2 days. I had my bag upright and pushed against the wall, the litterbox was like 10 steps away. The cat clearly took TIME AND EFFORT to piss on my things.

How do you get a cat to stop if it's just a dick like that?

by experience they stop eventually
the trick is, to close your room's door and learn how to clean the living room

[Tonkyhonk]

This cat has been going out of its way to piss on stuff the last 2 days. I had my bag upright and pushed against the wall, the litterbox was like 10 steps away. The cat clearly took TIME AND EFFORT to piss on my things.

How do you get a cat to stop if it's just a dick like that?

make sure the cat toilet is clean with enough sand.
put something of whatever your cat pissed on, so that the toilet smells a bit of his own piss. (but sand has to be cleaned up all the time)
if the cat doesnt use the toilet, it means the cat find it dirty or it smells other cats piss (if you have any others) and doesnt belong to him, or maybe the place makes the cat feel its too dangerous, so move the toilet to somewhere else where he can piss feeling safe.
if the cat cannot find the toilet, put the cat in the room with the toilet and close the door so he will find it without efforts.
if you find the cat trying to piss or pissing, pick him up and bring it in the toilet.

normally you have no problems with cat toilets as long as you keep the toilet clean.

oh wait, is your cat marking(spraying) by any chance?

[jordancoles]

Both of our cats are fixed and are roughly 12 years old. They were my girlfriends but they're "ours" now since we're now living together
We have 2 litterboxes in our closet with the door left open and they've been fine with that for a good month or two. They've done things like piss on bedding, pants on the floor etc in the past and we normally have to wash them 2-3 times or soak it in a vinegar bath before the little shitheads stop smelling it and leave it be. The litterboxes have been clean the past 2 times though but you can always tell when she's done something since she'll normally be in a corner or under something hiding.

It sucks because they do it when we're away or in other rooms so there's no real chance to move them

Last night we took everything off of the floor except for my backpack which was pressed up against the wall, but apparently that was all they needed?

[jordancoles]

We have to pay for our wash here so whenever they do some crap like this it costs me like $25 to clean so a solution to this would be great

Sidenote: my girlfriend won't let me kill it

[Tonkyhonk]

maybe your cats are totally mysophobiac. put several boxes when you go out. they may want it clean everytime they piss.

another possibility is illness. check their piss and take them to a vet, maybe.

edit
it is also possible maybe something happened when they took a piss last time and made them feel uncomfortable to piss there.
if everything else fails, try changing the placement of those boxes.

also, it is possible that they dont like the sand you prepare. switching to different brand (if you are buying sand) may be another solution.