Peom/rap

[Pinkie-Pie]

Welcome to the Hearthlands, fools!
Better hurry! Make some tools!
This game don't have any rules.
You can Kick you foes right in the jewels!

Doesn't matter if you build a wall!
Pala-bashers make it fall!
Run away, speed drops to crawl
Tick tick CRUNCH and thats all!

So I slip right in, take your loot!
We don't even give hoot!
Sit our butts upon your skull, cuz we earned it!
How you ask? By killing so many hermits.

Now this a game its ok to have fun,
But if you see a white dot, you better run.
Cuz this is Haven and Hearth! We'll hunt you down!
You're never safe, Not even in Brodgar town!

[Ozzy123]

[Kaios]

what's a peom

[Sarge]

what's a peom

Peotic freedom... like Haven... you can do wtf ever you want?

[ydex]

If it is a Poem, I'm afraid it falls due to the terrible consitency in your meter usage. Lines need to have a more structured sylable usage in order for it to stay in similar/same rythm. Further more the text is just to plain and obvious, see for example this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figure_of_speech for some pointers on things you can do to get a more interesting text. So as a poem it's some low lvl shit.

Same of course goes for rap, but beeing rap you should also have taken multi-sylable rhyming and usage of even more rhetorical organization. Also if you're going for a rap, you need to be even more precise with you meter as the goal is to rap too a beat. Think of it like this, one bar is 4 beats and usually one bar is one line. How many sylables are you likely to say over 4 beats(1 bar) without it sounding weird?

In conclution, low lvl poem -not even a rap. Practise some more n please come again.

[McJager]

Roses are red, Apples are red, Solo cups are red, My placemats are red. I might like red.

[razfen]

Roses are red,
WOLOLO.
Roses are blue.

lrn2peom m8

[Morrighan]

Hee hee! Well done Pinkie-Pie!