by overtyped » Fri May 31, 2024 10:59 pm solisalias wrote:overtyped wrote:solisalias wrote:I just simply want to be a better person in the end, the way to change is to admit my sins/mistakes, accepting the consequences and then change to not repeat it, even in a game.
Throughout playing, I battle myself to see what is truly evil and what is not and then having fun with double agent thingy.
I didn't get any useful info from WB to share with the war gang, and I didn't leak shit important enough to change the course of war.
Robben speaks the truth, again there's nothing too big that I leaked. I was also looking to gain WB's trust so if I get info it could benefit the war gang, because at times when satan tempted me I do feel like wanting to win the WAR. And I kinda idolize Snail for his infamy.
I only warned Orca about possible impending siege but to be honest she already know and also didn't need that info she knows stuffs and is smart. This is also me trying to be on her good side because she is a big haven player (I will explain why I'm trying to be on the good side of many powerful players)
You don't have to believe me or all this and feel free to judge and hate me I accept.
The reason I'm doing double agent and silly politics in the last months of playing haven is because I wanted Oppidia to become more 'good' and get rid of the connections with evil people like Snail and the gang, we have lost good person like Azma and people are quitting Oppidie too. So I tried to appeal to many other groups that can possibly ally with us so we don't depend too much on Snail gang.
I feel Austin is a great leader if only he chooose better haven 'game' friends but I realized that's outside my control, everyone can have fun in any way they want in a game.
But in the end I feel the sieger of WB 'aka' Snail gang is the one who is more evil and deserve to lose and have a rat inside the group and I'll be that rat any day.
All in all I enjoyed being evil in game bullying spruces, fooling people, having power, etc. but then the toxicity from snail gang that I listen from their inner chat and VC and their actions like paving evil symbols on WB made me change my mind and here we are.
The downside of being a rat is that both sides won't like you or trust you, since if you are willing to rat for them, you are willing to rat for others. Whichever group that accepts you will always keep you at arms length, forever an outsider.
In prisons, not even the guards like the rats, despite the fact the rats are working for them. That is because ratting shows a deep weakness of character, and people with weak character are universally despised. Not even rats trust other rats. Who would trust a backstabber?
However if you find it fun to be a rat, then be the best rat you can be.
It was fun when I did it but after my epiphany I don't find fun anymore in it and will never do it anymore, and yes I accept the consequences of my actions. Thank you for your feedback, Bob!
Speaking seriously for a minute, in your position I would seriously consider starting over. Make a new discord, new forum name, new username, everything, and hope nobody figures out you are Solis.
Snitching on both sides isn't really something you can come back from after some "self reflection." If you really are repentant, start over, and then act like a normal person after that.
