In haven you can buy a very good char most worlds for 20 euro. You can die with that char 5 or so times before it becomes worthless. Before you even account for the fact you're probably more than 100x more likely to die in EVE than haven, I'm pretty sure losing a ship worth more than 4 euros in EVE is normal
The mechanical impact of dying in haven is practically nothing, it's just an ego bruise. Just like with everybody else falling down this slippery slope no realistic amount of reduced penalty would fix your bruise.

