Prelude: World 16.1

[Crest]

>"yall"
>dick riding post
Every time.

[Robben_DuMarsch]

>"yall"
>dick riding post
Every time.

Ngl it's kinda weird seeing Snail ride his own dick on his alt account.

[TemuSoldier]

>"yall"
>dick riding post
Every time.

you’re fundamentally a doofus if you can unironically call that post “snail dickriding”

also shut up Robben, go find a fresh batch of useful idiots who don’t hate you yet

[Robben_DuMarsch]

>"yall"
>dick riding post
Every time.

you’re fundamentally a doofus if you can unironically call that post “snail dickriding”

also shut up Robben, go find a fresh batch of useful idiots who don’t hate you yet

cringe

I'll just leave this here for the skeptics.
There are so many ways that TemuSoldier is likely Snail, but here's a funny one.

The Haven and Hearth forum has approximately 920,000 posts (Jorb's 1.98% of total posts x50).
The word unironically has been used 451 times in the 16 years that Haven has had a forum, across those 920,000 posts:


87 of those 451 posts have involved Snail (on his main account, I'd bet a reasonable percentage are his alts or people quoting him, giving him an even larger attribution):


I could do more, but let's be fair, Snail self-fellates every time anyone mentions him, so best to leave it at that.

[Jenno]

[magnet]

how many times has the word doofus been used

lets get those numbers up

[Crest]

...

Based nooticer

[TemuSoldier]

Hold on thats unironically really funny.

Ok I actually am Snail (unironically). As bumpus the turtle said in kung fu panda: “There are no coincidences”.
As an official snail alter ego (real) i’d like to announce that I’ll be transitioning to a woman in honor of the hafen and hearth woman hearthling model NOT looking as ugly as dj lofart

[TemuSoldier]

Here’s what people are saying about ME (Snugglesnail, unironic btw) in the haven and hearth:

This player is a CRIMINAL. PM me and I'll provide you all the evidence you need to confidently avoid this cunt. This man is so astonishingly dishonest, sadistic and despicable that he will literally single-handedly kill you and eight of your closest nematode buddies by summoning an army of midges to destroy you. When it's time to account for his overt failures in PVP, he'll openly lie by fabricating bizarre, blatantly false, slanderous claims against his own village solely to deflect blame & accountability away from his own dumbfounding and bewildering deaths and siege failures. Read about: "SnuggleSnail Kiwifarms Thread." Be warned my friends, the man named SnuggleSnail is NOT a skilled, ethical or honest person or forum poster. He's a lonely, self-proclaimed "gamer" with no friends or good opinions. He's a complete lier, despite his enigmatic overconfidence in the skills and capabilities which he simply does not possess. I wish you the best in World 16.1!

I take this as a point of personal pride. Especially in June.

[Zephroze]

Unironically not beating the accusations with this one