Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

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Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby Acefirebird » Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:57 am

Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

One day Shiro was gathering wild herbs in the field when he had a brilliant idea. Earlier, he had been creating stockpiles with sticks so he could fence in animals. What if (this is the genius part) he used the stockpiles as a cage to keep the animal contained as he shot it from from a distance. That way Shiro could hunt effectively even with his terrible equipment and low stats. A warm fire began to glow in his heart as the seed of this idea consumed his brain.
After consulting with his friend, it was decided that in the morning Shiro would test the idea. If it worked, it would open up many doorways for the two players as they would have access to a slew of mid-game resources. Excitement filled the air.
After buying the Archery skill and crafting an arsenal of sleek bone arrows, Shiro and his assistant Ben began their work. Like busy little bees, they buzzed, and built, and buzzed some more. Before the hour was up, a stockpile cage had been constructed. Ben, with a clover in his possession, went out into the grasslands and returned with a horse some five minutes later. The horse was caged, and the die was cast.

A warm breeze washes over Sherbert Town like a bucket of water colors spilling across a kitchen floor. Today, science would once again peer out from the curtains and reveal the Truth. Shiro did the deed. He pressed the "Shoot" hotkey, waited for aim bar to fill up a reasonable amount, and fired. Interestingly, the arrow had gotten stuck on one of the stockpiles. At this point, the great mind of Shiro had lost hope of the idea working. If the arrow could not pass over the stockpiles than this whole plan was simply pointless.
But suddenly a lightbulb appears. It was fact that his arrows could not be fired above the stockpiles, but maybe, just maybe, they could be fired IN BETWEEN them. Hmmmm. The hearthling positioned himself accordingly, aimed between two of the stockpiles, and fired. A bold smile consumes his pixilated face. It worked!
Wait, whats this? The horse has broken through the stockpile and is now galloping towards the player with the force of a tsunami? Oh shit. Shiro had not anticipated the horses ability to BREAK THROUGH the stockpiles.
Suddenly, the position of Shiro and the position of the horse has flip flopped. The horse is in complete control of his attacker, kicking and stomping at his backside. Shiro is running in terror, like a little bitch, towards the safety of his home. The horse eats away at his precious HHP as the butchering-gone-wrong continues. There would be no mercy from this horse today. On and on they ran through the fields like drunk dancers, until Sherbert Town came into view. Finally, Shiro jumps through the door of his sturdy house, slams it shut behind him, and curls up on the floor sobbing like a baby.
His assistant probably could have helped, but he enjoyed his position as a bystander; even being as bold as to turn on the "routy dance" emote as the situation played out. How inappropriate.
A few hours later, a now bandaged up Shiro crawls out of the house. The horse is long gone, after having raped his daughter three times and taken his wife to be its slave. His assistant has disappeared into the night to find another village, taking all the good curios with him.

The moral: ?
Last edited by Acefirebird on Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:11 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby jordancoles » Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:58 am

Acefirebird wrote:The moral: tl;dr
Duhhrail wrote:No matter how fast you think you can beat your meat, Jordancoles lies in the shadows and waits to attack his defenseless prey. (tl;dr) Don't afk and jack off. :lol:

Check out my pro-tips thread
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby Jacobian123 » Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:08 am

TL;DR is that animals can break things that have no soak and that you should have better per*mm to hunt dangerous things with a bow and arrow.
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby ydex » Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:21 am

Jacobian123 wrote:TL;DR is that animals can break things that have no soak and that you should have better per*mm to hunt dangerous things with a bow and arrow.


Or just use a cliff that is long enough so animal can't path around it and make stick wall behind animal and have like 5mm and still get the kill? ;)
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby ydex » Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:22 am

jordancoles wrote:
Acefirebird wrote:The moral: tl;dr


Lol we both know you read it all ;)
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby Acefirebird » Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:30 am

ydex wrote: Or just use a cliff that is long enough so animal can't path around it and make stick wall behind animal and have like 5mm and still get the kill? ;)


Those are some interesting thoughts ydex. Maybe it will come in handy for a certain someone ;) .
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby Acefirebird » Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:23 pm

Acefirebird wrote:
ydex wrote: Or just use a cliff that is long enough so animal can't path around it and make stick wall behind animal and have like 5mm and still get the kill? ;)


Those are some interesting thoughts ydex. Maybe it will come in handy for a certain someone ;) .


Haha it worked! (sort of). I was able to create a trap-structure using a weirdly shaped cliff. I've killed two horses now with varying success. The first time went very smoothly. The second time, somehow, the horse found its way around, broke through the stockpiles, and got to me. I didn't take much HHP damage but it took out my leather armor completely and knocked me out. I was able to kill it after healing up but I guess that proves this method isn't very reliable. Not sure why it worked one time but not the other. Thanks anyway.
Once I start crafting rope I can start pulling in other animals such as boars and Mouflons.
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby wolf1000wolf » Mon Apr 18, 2016 9:15 pm

Or, if you're not in a self-imposed solo challenge, consider trading for a higher quality bow. A decent bow will allow you to one-shot mouflons and deer while sending horses/boars into flee mode.
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby Acefirebird » Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:35 pm

wolf1000wolf wrote:Or, if you're not in a self-imposed solo challenge, consider trading for a higher quality bow. A decent bow will allow you to one-shot mouflons and deer while sending horses/boars into flee mode.


How would I trade for such a bow if I don't have anything to trade to begin with??? The reason I'm on this "easy hunting" path is because I don't have anything valuable in the first place you dunce.
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Re: Shiro and the Very Bad Idea

Postby barra » Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:45 pm

wolf1000wolf wrote:How would I trade for such a bow if I don't have anything to trade to begin with??? The reason I'm on this "easy hunting" path is because I don't have anything valuable in the first place you dunce.

salt crystals or vinegar of any quality, both are valuable goods a newbie can collect or produce.
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