Wonky jokes thread

[Teleskop]

Hi in this topic we talk wonky jokes


how do you call when two poops become friends?

friendshit xD

[overtyped]

Here's a joke for you. What is bob doles name?
bob dole

[Ysh]

The man goes to buy dog for racing to make some money on dogs racing. He travel to store for racing dog and look at all the many racing dog for sale. While he does this browse, a bulldog approached him and talks to this man: ''Hello man, please buy me for racing, and I will win all of the race for you.'' The man says his reply to dog, ''Not a way for it to happen friend, for you are bulldog and not a dog for the races, so you will be no match for those other dog.'' But bulldog is not shaken by man's lack of faith and deliver the ultimatum. ''Come on man, trust me, and you will make the great fortune.'' The man finally agrees to buy dog and makes decision to enter him into race. Beginning the race, all dogs outrun bulldog immediate on first encirclement. This man becomes enrage and yells to bulldog, ''What the fuck are you doing bulldog?'' But the bulldog remains steadfast and informs the man, ''Trust me man, just look!'' But still, all dog outrun this bulldog making the man more and more angry. But the bulldog is relentless with his reassurance, ''Chill out, I got this.'' Finally all dog comes to final encirclement. All dog but bulldog. The bulldog comes a few minute later, barely breathing. Man berates him, ''The fuck happened bulldog you were supposed to win race!'' And bulldog reply, ''Fuck man, I do not know.''

[MrPunchers]

lol
A man walks into a bar with a block of Asphalt, he walks up to the counter, "I'll order two beers, one for here and one for the road."

[lacucaracha]

how do you call a guy who never touched a girl?

frosty

[spawningmink]

how do you call a guy who never touched a girl?

frosty

HEY

[lacucaracha]

how do you call a guy who never touched a girl?

frosty

HEY

chill man its the other frosty not you

[MagicManICT]

Thought you typed "grill" not "girl"... doh!

Here's one my late grandfather told me. I'll see if I can do it justice.

An army private was driving home on leave one day. He's passing down an unfamiliar road and sees a sign that says "Free talking dog." Curious, the GI pulls off and approaches the house. Upon reaching the gate, there's an older farmer sitting on the porch rocking and the dog comes up and speaks to him.

"Hey, guy. You here for the talking dog? I'm a wonder. I recently retired from the K-9 corps. I helped rescue 9 kids and two firefighters from a burning apartment building."

Impressed, the young man says, "Wow, that's impressive."

The dog continues, "Yeah, but that was pretty boring. My job before that was as a spy. I was sent to Russia as an undercover agent. My role was as a pet to some of the most well known KGB agents and brass."

Now jaw agape, the private says "How ever did you pull that off?"

The dog replies, "Wasn't hard. I just had to be quiet and pay attention. My job before that was the hard one. I worked as a bomb sniffing dog during the war. I'd walk out ahead of the soldiers and tanks sniffing out land mines and unexploded bombs."

The young man was just dumbfounded now. He finally asks the farmer, "Why are you giving such an impressive dog away?"

The farmer looks up and says, "Son, that dog ain't been out of this yard his whole life."

[Sarge]

So this dyslexic walks into a bra...

Bulldog joke

Even though the punchline went completely over my head, this is now my favourite joke.

The man says his reply to dog, ''Not a way for it to happen friend, for you are bulldog and not a dog for the races, so you will be no match for those other dog.'' But bulldog is not shaken by man's lack of faith and deliver the ultimatum. ''Come on man, trust me, and you will make the great fortune.'' The man finally agrees to buy dog

Also, I am using this line in future to persuade JLO to implement/change stuff. it is clearly a very powerful line.

[Zeler]

The man goes to buy dog for racing to make some money on dogs racing. He travel to store for racing dog and look at all the many racing dog for sale. While he does this browse, a bulldog approached him and talks to this man: ''Hello man, please buy me for racing, and I will win all of the race for you.'' The man says his reply to dog, ''Not a way for it to happen friend, for you are bulldog and not a dog for the races, so you will be no match for those other dog.'' But bulldog is not shaken by man's lack of faith and deliver the ultimatum. ''Come on man, trust me, and you will make the great fortune.'' The man finally agrees to buy dog and makes decision to enter him into race. Beginning the race, all dogs outrun bulldog immediate on first encirclement. This man becomes enrage and yells to bulldog, ''What the fuck are you doing bulldog?'' But the bulldog remains steadfast and informs the man, ''Trust me man, just look!'' But still, all dog outrun this bulldog making the man more and more angry. But the bulldog is relentless with his reassurance, ''Chill out, I got this.'' Finally all dog comes to final encirclement. All dog but bulldog. The bulldog comes a few minute later, barely breathing. Man berates him, ''The fuck happened bulldog you were supposed to win race!'' And bulldog reply, ''Fuck man, I do not know.''

haha man, thats one of my favorite joke