Press F for Killa

Forum for discussing in game politics, village relations and matters of justice.

Press F for Killa

Postby reticent » Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:01 am

Killa was a simple sprucecap. Despite the unfortunate choice of name he was a harmless and peaceful hermit, who spent his days chasing squirrels and turning his tiny claim into a tastefully overgrown forest hovel.

Image

That is, until he was MURDERED! That's right, murdered. Imagine your life-force leaving your body, along with your hopes and dreams, and your youthful innocence and goodwill towards the world, all collecting in a sanguine pool on the ground.

Terrible. Despicable. Most curious.

Who could commit such a foul act? The directions of Killa's descendant, Killason, led me to his ancestral home. As suspected, it had no palisade, so I left him some leather and rope, and a dead animal, as is the hearthland custom. His home was squalid, but the man lying in the center was unmistakably dead. Strangely, there was no murder scent. Not in here, nor in the surrounding area. But there were a scent of battery, and a scent of assault. Perhaps the murderer used leeches, and Killa, in his naivite, thought he's made new friends with the annelids greedily draining him of the remaining blood. Perhaps he has died of a broken heart at the sheer cruelty of the world.

Image

But I had the clues I came for, and the trail was still hot.

The scents took me further east than I've expected. At first I imagined the criminals were from another continent, pirates, vikings, AD raiding party. But the scents pointed inland. Could it be the neighboring village of Action, asserting their territorial dominion? Not so, although their knarr boasted a threatening sail design, they were blameless.

I rode on and on. Then I said screw it, and hearthed home, and continued eastward. Past CF, past Fancy Huts...wait! The scents were pointing to Fancy Huts! Wasn't this the HH realm's founding village? I could scarcely believe my eyes. It seems whoever's had a hand in poor Killa's untimely and brutal end, had noble origins. Noblesse oblige indeed, you fiend, whoever you might be.

Let this be a warning to other simple hermits, for sometimes the beasts among us walk upright and wear hermine capes. Build your defenses, lock the gates and count your ever declining realm's blessings. Seriously, what's up with that swan quality? It used to be 225% for Odin's sake!

Image

Image

Image
reticent
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:42 pm

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby kmarad » Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:11 am

Wow ! meanwhile the queen polishes her nails.
What the fuck is going on ? we need the truth for once !

For freedom !
Last edited by kmarad on Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
kmarad
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:46 pm

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby MarcusXDead » Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:58 am

F Killa
Image
^The wall of text^
MarcusXDead
 
Posts: 94
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:23 pm

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby graouh » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:26 am

reticent wrote:Perhaps the murderer used leeches, and Killa, in his naivite, thought he's made new friends with the annelids greedily draining him of the remaining blood. Perhaps he has died of a broken heart at the sheer cruelty of the world.


reticent wrote:It seems whoever's had a hand in poor Killa's untimely and brutal end, had noble origins.
Let this be a warning to other simple hermits, for sometimes the beasts among us walk upright and wear hermine capes.


This is unacceptable and the Rebellion will heartly fight against this.

Kingdom lords hunting sprucecaps? what's wrong with you guys. The Rebellion demands answers from the queen.
That's an ultimatum, and if you don't oblige we'll send some of our best bad musicians to play the flute under your windows for some weeks!
Don't mess with the people! :oops:
graouh
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:28 pm

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby vatas » Sun Feb 09, 2020 12:23 pm

I appreciate the effort and creativity that went into writing the OP.

May Killason live long and prosper.
The most actively maintained Haven and Hearth Wiki (Not guaranteed to be up-to-date with all w14 changes.)

Basic Claim Safety (And what you’re doing wrong) (I recommend you read it in it's entirety, but TL:;DR: Build a Palisade.)

Combat Guide (Overview, PVE, PVP) (Tells you how to try and escape, and make it less likely to die when caught.)
User avatar
vatas
 
Posts: 4507
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2013 8:34 am
Location: Suomi Finland Perkele

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby graouh » Sun Feb 09, 2020 12:31 pm

vatas wrote:I appreciate the effort and creativity that went into writing the OP.


Who cares what you appreciate when there are matters of life and death?!
Are you a noble or worse an imperialist to speak like that?
"Oh I like that painting of that guy violently killed by his kingdom's lords".

Looks like rebellion work is far from done. And seeing how you nobles like to insult the peaceful farmers, that may not end well. :x
Last edited by graouh on Sun Feb 09, 2020 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
graouh
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:28 pm

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby ctopolon4 » Sun Feb 09, 2020 1:21 pm

hmm. someone love to build palisades...
User avatar
ctopolon4
 
Posts: 738
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:28 pm
Location: mom's basement

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby Ants » Thu Feb 13, 2020 1:12 am

kmarad wrote:Wow ! meanwhile the queen polishes her nails.
What the fuck is going on ? we need the truth for once !

For freedom !

Most HH people quit and the ones that are left started raiding noobs out of boredom, it's not a secret. There's no faction with clean hands in this game.
Haven's most kawaii retarded ethot karen
Image
User avatar
Ants
 
Posts: 1842
Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 9:55 pm
Location: inside your head

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby kiddoinc » Thu Feb 13, 2020 4:04 am

F

Ants wrote:
kmarad wrote:Wow ! meanwhile the queen polishes her nails.
What the fuck is going on ? we need the truth for once !

For freedom !

Most HH people quit and the ones that are left started raiding noobs out of boredom, it's not a secret. There's no faction with clean hands in this game.


for shame.

they sure have a strong propaganda wing to make sure their actions are overlooked and AD is always blamed. now we see their true colors.
User avatar
kiddoinc
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:36 am

Re: Press F for Killa

Postby azrid » Thu Feb 13, 2020 6:57 am

Top factions go for the noobiest of noobs and pretend they don't.
It happens early world too.
Image
Image
User avatar
azrid
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:33 pm

Next

Return to The Moot

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests