Goon trading post, closed until further notice

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ewlol
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Re: Goon trading post, closed until further notice

Post by ewlol »

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notacunt
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Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:33 pm

Re: Goon trading post, closed until further notice

Post by notacunt »

The Haven Herald

11 September 2010 Last updated at 17:09 CEST

Goon Cities rocked by Terror Attacks

Early this morning wagons crashed into 2 separate goon cities, destroying many buildings and killing potentially dozens of goons.

Witnesses describe the approach of the first wagon to Xanadu; "At first it didn't seem out of the ordinary, we occasionally have wagons come to our city."

A seemingly normal morning soon turned nightmarish when the wagon collided directly with the city's brick wall and detonated, breaching the wall and destroying many building and damaging many others.

Around the same time a similar attack occurred at Nunya, also beaching the wall and causing substantial damage. In both cities several buildings caught fire and and burned in the following panic.

"An explosion of this magnitude has never happened before in the Hearth," said military analyst Onionfighter. "The wagons must have been full of barrels of beer, certainly of a high quality."

No culprits have yet been named but various sources within the goon hierarchy have pointed the finger at Russian organizations.

"Russians are the only ones with the beer of the required quality" one official remarked "They want to compensate for not having vodka."

In the aftermath of the attacks the goon trading post suspended operations and was put on hiatus. Officials have yet to make a formal statement regarding the attacks.
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barra
Posts: 446
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:08 pm

Re: Goon trading post, closed until further notice

Post by barra »

notacunt wrote:The Haven Herald

11 September 2010 Last updated at 17:09 CEST

Goon Cities rocked by Terror Attacks

Early this morning wagons crashed into 2 separate goon cities, destroying many buildings and killing potentially dozens of goons.

Witnesses describe the approach of the first wagon to Xanadu; "At first it didn't seem out of the ordinary, we occasionally have wagons come to our city."

A seemingly normal morning soon turned nightmarish when the wagon collided directly with the city's brick wall and detonated, breaching the wall and destroying many building and damaging many others.

Around the same time a similar attack occurred at Nunya, also beaching the wall and causing substantial damage. In both cities several buildings caught fire and and burned in the following panic.

"An explosion of this magnitude has never happened before in the Hearth," said military analyst Onionfighter. "The wagons must have been full of barrels of beer, certainly of a high quality."

No culprits have yet been named but various sources within the goon hierarchy have pointed the finger at Russian organizations.

"Russians are the only ones with the beer of the required quality" one official remarked "They want to compensate for not having vodka."

In the aftermath of the attacks the goon trading post suspended operations and was put on hiatus. Officials have yet to make a formal statement regarding the attacks.
Any engineer worth his salt will tell you Its impossible for burning beer to melt brick supports and cause the wall to collapse, and a friend of mine who was there said he saw an explosion a few seconds BEFORE the wagon hit.

Explain that, Goons.
loftar wrote:You do appear to need a good trolling.
Reimad
Posts: 201
Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 9:30 am

Re: Goon trading post, closed until further notice

Post by Reimad »

So in short, you purchased so much beer that you have nothing left to trade with?
Dusk
Posts: 111
Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:10 pm

Re: Goon trading post, closed until further notice

Post by Dusk »

It is a sad day to see the goon trading post closed. You all did a lot to open up this game world in terms of trade.
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serpentyngallery
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Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2010 12:32 pm

Re: Goon trading post, closed until further notice

Post by serpentyngallery »

As a friend who lives in NY recommended to the rescue workers, to find the missing bodies under the rubble, follow the rats. They are ravenous little monsters and WILL find any way to food they can, they will take you to the bodies. Past that, if ya'll need any assistance cleaning up the rubble, let me know and I'll do my best to come down and assist.
Ezekiel wrote: He called me what I believe to be an "ass fetus" in Russian and then killed me.

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