"Muggle. Two and a half leagues to the south, quarter league to the east" announced Skreti Shacklebolt, master tracker of the Gryffindor house, decorated Battle Wizard under the command of Ziggald the Battle Commander Wizard. Skreti was perched atop the tallest hill in a field. He had been travelling with Willy's Wizards for 3 years now, and his acquaintance with the powerful senses and instincts of the Earth's wide variety of creatures proved invaluable in the service of Willy's Wizards.
Willy and his wizards had just besieged a muggle ghetto. Putrid symbols of muggle greed and icons of sin were being molded in the fires of vengeance. The sultry aroma of brimstone burning in the ground heartily filled the nostrils of the Wizards. And yet they hungered for more. The Wizards would not stop until not only all muggles were slain but what all their kind stood for was erased.
Skreti had just picked up the tracks of the next muggle target. Skreti's tracking abilities were believed to be magically fueled. When he picked up a scent it was rumoured he could see the target's past, present, and likely abrupt future.
"Men, you know what to do. Initiate muggle-fucker formation A-2" boomed Willy Potter so powerfully the wizards wondered if their muggle target had heard. Willy entered into his camp tent and motioned Cecelia, the Wizard Waifu, to begin pouring a vessel of wine.
Cecelia started, "s-sir, it is dark soon. Is it wise to-"
"ARE YOU DOUBTING MY WIZARDLY MIGHT?" interrupted Willy. Willy grabbed the vessel out of Cecelia's hand and downed it in a singular motion. After this he wrapped his noodly arm around the waist of Cecelia and forcibly tossed her onto the bed in his personal tent. Willy commented "your feet are beautiful tonight" as he began ravaging her. Willy made love to Cecelia for as long as he could, approximately a minute. After this time Willy fell asleep and Cecelia headed towards the tent of Battle Commander Ziggald.
"He's just so pathetic" muttered Cecelia. "He starts off shouting and seeming so powerful but when he does anything in bed it's just so...sad. His arms are so flimsy. If you put spaghetti sauce on his arms you'd mistake them for noodles."
"Let's not worry about him here", responded Battle Commander Ziggald, the sexy and strong. Ziggald gently lifted Cecelia towards his bed.
"Your arms are so big and powerful!" Cecelia beamed with joy. Ziggald and Cecelia made love all through the night for hours on end.
However, there was something off. Peeking through the flaps of the tent entrance was Willy Potter!
"H-how could Cecelia betray me...gosh I feel so emasculated. Why am I so pathetic." Willy said to himself. However, part of the display to him was...arousing. Something about it was great to him. The feeling of another man taking your woman, pleasuring her in ways you never could, exploring her in ways you never did was something Willy found...incredible. Willy began pleasuring himself to the sight, slowly at first and and then furiously. As he climaxed he uttered his battle-cry, "SOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Embarrassed incase they heard him, Willy retreated back to his tent and cried throughout the night while Ziggald continued making love to Cecelia.
Once the sun had risen, Willy Potter exitted his tent. David Weasley, proud Wizard's Guardsman approached Willy.
"Sir, you're the only person who hasn't packed up their tent...sir...have you been crying? Your eyes are-"
"Shut up idiot...I'll get to it..."
While the Wizards were waiting for Willy to show up, David Weasley approached his superior officer, Bunzius Black, Captain of the Wizard's Guard.
"Sir, I saw Willy Potter...umm...crying."
"Don't worry about it, he does it all the time. Whenever a dementor shows up and begins attacking him all he can do is cry and shout 'NIDBN NIDBN'. I've had to save him countless times and he's almost always crying during it. Now shh, he's coming."
Willy stuttered out, "A-alright guys, time to g-go!"
The siege on the muggle camp had gone on for what seemed like days. Arvin, the Magician of Feminine Equality had wandered over the camp in a daze. He walked past numerous conversations when Dumblenep, Archmage of Autism Bullying confronted him,
"You're wondering why we're sieging this camp."
Broken out of his daze Arvin blurts out, "not this camp, all the camps. Why must we be the people to decide what muggles live and what muggles die."
"Ah, you're mistaken. We must kill all muggles, all muggles must die. We do this not because we want to, but because no one else will. Muggles are an infestation, a disease."
"So we must kill them to get rid of their disease? Is there no way to cure them?"
"Yet another mistake. You've misheard me. Muggles don't have a disease. They are the disease. Curing a disease means killing the virus. You will understand soon young one. Now shape up. I think the muggles are mounting an attack. Like cornered rats, they attempt to fight back, fruitlessly."
Willy shouted "TO ARMS MEN! THE END IS NIGH AND ALL MUGGLES MUST DIE!"
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