Post your (own) noobest story

[Beezer12Washingbeard]

This thread is for posting your own stories of noob moments or goofs. It's easy to point at others and laugh, it's more challenging (and a lot more fun and interesting) to be able to laugh at yourself.

I decided to check out this game because of the ProJared video--I know I'm a couple years late on that, I only found his channel last month and I've been catching up--and was excited because this looks like exactly the kind of game I can get lost in, but was also nervous for the same reason.

I created my character, Fartrell Cluggins, and went through what has to be the usual blind first-timer experience: wrestling with controls, exploring, getting my ass kicked by a badger. I eagerly picked up and interacted with everything I saw, explored all the build/craft options, and quickly got frustrated with the area I was on--there was a patch of land just across the river that looked so good, it had to be better than where I was! (it was a literal grass-is-greener moment for me)

So I bought Swimming as soon as I could, turned it on, and tried to swim across the river. And then drowned after swimming probably 5 meters. I noticed how quickly my stamina/health was dropping and tried to turn back, but it was too late. RIP Fartrell.

Then I made my second character, Beezer Twelve Washingbeard, met a helpful player who showed me the ropes a bit, and started getting a real handle on the game. Beezer got ganked on the second day. So I made Beezer II and spawned about 1/2 the world away.

Did I mention that each time I made a new character, I jumped in the fire and didn't notice the graveyard next to the wizard?

After my long, long, long boat trip back to our camp, I tried to claim my body, only to be told I needed to have Theft. Then I read the wiki article on death and facepalmed at how dumb I'd been. My body ended up decomposing without me being able to grab any of my old loot (and I'd found some good stuff too).

And while it's not directly game-related I did something similar for the forums--I made a totally new account to post on the forums because for some reason I thought the game and forum accounts would be separate, lol

[shubla]

In world 5 my friend told me not to mine without supports and mining helmet.
I thought it would be good idea to see what happens if I mine without supports and mining helmet.
Not too long and some caveins KO'd me. But I thought that knocking out for minute or so is not that bad. So I kept digging. But then I died.

[Blueberry]

The very first time I played, I saw a bear and got so excited that I ran right up to it. It ate my face.

[jordancoles]

In world 8 my chickens kept dying

Like, really really fast.

I couldn't figure out why and I had sworn off raising them because they were just shit to take care of.

I then realized that 'swill' isn't extra food that chickens produce after eating their own food, swill is their food. I had been using a barrel to collect swill and feed it to my cows not knowing that I was actually removing all of the chicken feed from the coop and starving them to death within a few hours.

[GenghisKhan44]

I once locked myself out of my own palisade. Couldn't even get back in with my hearth fire. So I had to camp outside my own walls and build a farm outside of them.

When I was travelling to Vidarheim Abbey, I had criminal acts on. I went to some noob camp and inspected their chests and got caught red handed. Actually, I've gotten myself caught red-handed many times while innocently inspecting things while forgetting I had criminal acts on.

[ricky]

>be world 3
>Start a fresh character, name him ricky
>Walk around in the forest without shoes
>Get a thorn in the foot

Those were the days

[sMartins]

I just made a chest with lock and i put the master key inside.... i had to destroy it.

[overtyped]

Bob Dole used to steal the dreams off dreamcatchers from inactive bases.

[Cajoes]

Only two events in my mind.

First nub moment, way back in World 2, we got to keep our charactors from W1, I decided to try out the new swimming skill that was implemented. And thats all he wrote.



Second nub moment: World... 4 I think? Someone thought it'd be a great idea to let boars arbitrarily murder people they'd knocked out. Similar to bears!

The Bay12 colonial group lost 8 nubs in the first day of playing.

Good times.

[LadyV]

Oh my. Mine was world 6. I was in a cave and the graphical glitch in one of the underground pools looked like a curios so i went for a swim not thinking baout it was in deep water. When it clicked I was to far out to make it back, glub! Thankfully it was early world and i recovered quickly.