Tell them here.
A blond has just gotten two horses, but she has a hard time telling them apart. Her redhead neighbor tries to help her out.
"Why don't you tie up one's hair in bows?"
"That's a great idea!"
It worked great, but after three days, the bows fell out and got lost.
"Why don't you cut the tail short on one of them?"
"That's a great idea!"
So she does, but the other horse gets in an accident and it's tail is cut short as well.
"Why don't you notch one ear?"
"That's a great idea!"
She did so, but the other horse got it's ear caught in a barbed wire fence and got a notch as well.
"Well, I'm feeling sorry for these poor horses. Why don't you just measure them?"
"That's a great idea!"
The blond goes out and measures them. It turns out the white horse was five inches taller than the black horse!
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saltmummy626
- Posts: 1165
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:24 am
Re: Jokes
bad taste alert:
do you know why they have a cock on a weather vane? (ill let this one sit for a bit)
Q: the big moron and the little moron were standing on a bridge, the big moron fell off. why didnt the little moron fall off?
A: because the little moron was a little more on.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?
A: one is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a water melon.
Q: whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and truckload of seals?
A: you cant unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
Q: why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: cuz it was stapled to the chicken.
do you know why they have a cock on a weather vane? (ill let this one sit for a bit)
Q: the big moron and the little moron were standing on a bridge, the big moron fell off. why didnt the little moron fall off?
A: because the little moron was a little more on.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?
A: one is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a water melon.
Q: whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and truckload of seals?
A: you cant unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
Q: why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: cuz it was stapled to the chicken.
Want to touch my fibula?
Gulgatha, place of the skull.
Gulgatha, place of the skull.
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Chakravanti
- Posts: 3345
- Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2009 3:38 am
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martinuzz
- Posts: 381
- Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 12:41 pm
Re: Jokes
A Zionists visits the rabbi, in distress;
"rabbi," he says, "it is horrible!"
"Do tell me, my friend," says the rabbi.
"I sent my only son to Isreal for a year, to work at a kibbuts and become a better Jew..."
"But he came back yesterday, and... He has become a Christian!"
"That's.. very disturbing.." Says the rabbi.
"I havent told this to anybody, but.. I sent my only son to Isreal for a year too, to study to become a rabbi, like me "
"And he came back a Christian as well."
"What should we do, rabbi, what should we do?"
"Let's ask God for advice, my friend."
Together, the rabbi and the Zionist start praying to God.
Suddenly, out of nothing, God appears.
"What seems to be the problem my friends?" Asks he.
The rabbi explains the situation to him.
"I'll be damned!" Says God.
"I sent *my* only son to Isreal 2000 years ago.. And he came back a Christian as well!"
"rabbi," he says, "it is horrible!"
"Do tell me, my friend," says the rabbi.
"I sent my only son to Isreal for a year, to work at a kibbuts and become a better Jew..."
"But he came back yesterday, and... He has become a Christian!"
"That's.. very disturbing.." Says the rabbi.
"I havent told this to anybody, but.. I sent my only son to Isreal for a year too, to study to become a rabbi, like me "
"And he came back a Christian as well."
"What should we do, rabbi, what should we do?"
"Let's ask God for advice, my friend."
Together, the rabbi and the Zionist start praying to God.
Suddenly, out of nothing, God appears.
"What seems to be the problem my friends?" Asks he.
The rabbi explains the situation to him.
"I'll be damned!" Says God.
"I sent *my* only son to Isreal 2000 years ago.. And he came back a Christian as well!"
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DukeBenjy
- Posts: 167
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:47 am
- Location: ing-a-land.
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overshadowed
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:08 pm
Re: Jokes
Did someone say jokes? 
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said:"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me." she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
You're right." She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea." the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said:"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me." she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
You're right." She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea." the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
